Claire & Biff

[Claire]

It's Sunday...and we made it through a weekend well! Praise the Lord! Saturday, we had a family field trip to a war reenactment, of sorts. It wasn't what we expected, but it provided us a relaxing atmosphere getting away together doing something we all love...learning about history!

 

Today, we met at church. That's awkward for me and difficult getting out the door! Satan always attacks our family harder on Sundays. Miss Jane B and her husband did a special and it was beautiful! The pastor's message was right in line with what we've been going through...having freedom in Christ. He even referenced Eph with men being commanded to be the "bride of Christ".

 

We had lunch out and it was loud, busy, stressful! I find that I'm having a really difficult time in crowded, noisy places. Yesterday, I about left COSTCO because of anxiety from the crowds...the noise and hecticness was too much! Today, I was ready to leave Jason's Deli. Also, we ran into homeschool friends and previous church friends so it was busy. I felt bothered to be talking to other people while our family needs to eat a meal together in peace and bonding. I asked Biff if we could really plan to have lunch at home on Sundays. He'll have to help, but I think it would be good after a busy week of homeschooling, activities, and running especially during this time of healing.

 

Biff than came over. We were going to go to the pool, but I was beat. He asked if we could lay on the bed and rest. He initiated. I followed...apprehensively, but I did. It was really awkward and emotional for me. We hadn't laid on that bed since December 20th when Biff began our a.m. in a hurtful way and ended up going too far with his abuse. We knew in that moment that he had to leave. I keep saying that was the best and worst day of our marriage. Biff keeps talking about the hotel room being his prison, but that bedroom has been a prison to me too! After a cat nap, the floodgates were opened. The talking started...the apologies were given...the tears were spilled...a prayer was prayed...It was a very healing time. We didn't get too involved. There's so much to talk about, but we both know now that we have to take this whole process S-L-O-W!

 

Biff is blessing our daughter by taking her to the first activity of the year at our new church. She's so excited to make new friends! He's running a couple of errands for me with our O. He's blessed everybody this weekend.

 

Thank you, Biff, for being a blessing to our family this weekend. Looking forward to sharing a good week continuing this process.

 

p.s. Other blessings today is seeing the faces of Truth and Rejoicein on FB! They have breathed so much truth, light, and encouragement into this process! Thank you! Also, for the second Sunday in a row, I've received a text from Kathy just checking in on us. That means so much, Kathy! Thank you. We're going to plan to hop on the call tonight.

[JoelandKathy]

Halelujah!

[Claire]

Biff keeps blessing and wow is it ever nice!!

 

Tuesday p.m. and Wednesday a.m. we jumped through some potentially hazardous, previous cliff jumping moments. Last night, it was simply over something small, but to me huge. We went around to bless and share with our birthday girl things we love about her. It's a tradition that I like to do with the family. We went around to the each child and than Biff said, "I'll go next. Mom can go last since she gave birth to Olivia." What? That mixed up thinking is something else! I gave a twitch and look. He immediately said, "What? I thought I was being nice." I replied that a man always puts the woman first to show his love for her. He kind of apologized, but he really believed his way was right. Today, he told me that he understood.

 

Wednesday a.m. there was confusion about his parents again. I had arranged last week for the boys to go biking with their Pop. E just received his new bike and it was a gift representing a unified effort between Biff and myself. Biff really wanted to have the first family bike ride with E on his new bike and we had planned to do that last week. However, Biff kept forgetting to get his bike fixed. This a.m. I made a comment about the kids going on the bike ride and he said, "No. I changed that. They aren't going with Pop until we have our family ride." I was really shocked that he had cancelled and we had some conversation about that. Than, he said, "Hey. I'm not supposed to get in the middle of this. Joel told me not to." I had an internal struggle going on than because in my heart I felt like it wasn't anybody else's fault that Biff forgot to get his bike fixed over a few day period. It wasn't his dad's fault and his dad was trying to initiate. It wasn't my fault and how was I going to go on a date with him tonight IF the kids, who were supposed to be with grandparents, were now to stay at home alone while we went on the date. It just didn't make sense to me. I said, "That's it. I have to call and work this out." My daughter said, "No, mom. I don't want dad to get mad at you." I said, "Well, honey. This is that hard part of my role. I have to help dad understand that this isn't right. I feel like everybody is getting punished and than we get to go on a date! How am I supposed to enjoy my date? " I prayed and called. Biff listened to me and he understood. He called his dad and apologized for confusing the plans and asked his dad to please follow through with the activities with the children. Everything worked out tonight so that the girls had a nice time making jewelry with Nana and the boys went on a bike ride with Pop. They had a blast.

 

My MIL came into the house. She seemed to be hiding behind my FIL. Than she walked in and just hugged me tight. It's been almost 9 months since I've seen her or talked to her and they lived 15 minutes away! She was going to support Biff until the bitter end because I guess in her mind we were over. If she really believed and prayed for our marriage to be restored, why did she alienate me? I'm still struggling with that. But, it was good. She wanted a tour of the house as I've changed a lot of things over the months. I've painted, made curtains, moved furniture, painted furniture, hung vintage maps in my guest bath, etc. She was blown away by everything and very sweet. It was a start to healing and that was a blessing.

 

Later, Biff and I enjoyed a relaxing, delicious sushi dinner. Sushi was 40% off tonight (who knew?) and it was great! While we ate, Biff told me we were going to the mall so I could get a Bobbi Brown makeover! Oh my! I started crying. I've had this rosacea on my face that I've been self conscious about. I've been really tired looking and feeling just old and unattractive! Biff sat patiently next to me while the sweetest lady did my makeup. She did it beautifully! I can't help looking at myself because my skin tone is evened out and dewey looking. I really feel nice and I haven't felt that way in a long time! I was talking myself out of this and that because ... Biff asked the lady to wrap all of her choices up! I can't believe it! Biff, you spoiled me tonight like I don't ever really remember! You sat there and watched, made funny, sweet comments, agreed with choices, gave your input ("the smokey eyes"), etc. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You really made me feel a few years younger! The kids can't get over the transformation too. Now I have to figure out how to apply everything correctly tomorrow. That may be scary...I better wake up earlier to get ready!

[truth]

Everything you have written here is so amazing to me. Isn't God so wonderful?

Btw, Claire, you are gorgeous and very youthful!

[JoelandKathy]

What a wonderful praise report.. both about Biff and about the parents and children. PERFECT! You are happy.. WE are happy! It is so beautiful when plans come together! We are SO proud of you both! Halelujah!