Jump to content
God Save My Marriage

Recommended Posts

We think you do too! You are a very brave lady MJ, and you've come a long way.... no doubt becasue our Lord is WITH you and will STAY with you through each new step.

 

(((hugs)))

Oh God! Thank you Dory.

 

I thought I would start with an information session, IYKWIM. Surely that will give me more, uh, something...

 

I think I'll do that even if things were to turn around right away.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 2.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Oh God! Thank you Dory.

 

I thought I would start with an information session, IYKWIM. Surely that will give me more, uh, something...

 

I think I'll do that even if things were to turn around right away.

Information never hurts.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah., never hurts. :mellow:

 

I'm just about finished doing some laundry for Son 3 (folded previously washed clothes for Son 2, too), then am off to Son 2's workplace to borrow his phone. No land line -- not my style!

Then I'll take a change of clothes to Son 2 and visit.

 

Then, I'd better start home, I suppose. (I need a change of clothes, too.)

 

I think I'll stop on the way though and visit Son 1. Might as well, right?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Joel wrote to MJ and I this e-mail...

 

Hi MJ - I just spoke to Z.

 

He is a dead duck.

 

Please get an attorney, get him out of the home and get as much money as you can possibly get.. and enjoy your life without this man.

 

Dory - would you please put MJ in the private section?

 

We need to ALL support her and URGE her in this direction.

 

Yes - I just spoke to Z. Can you tell?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahh. Thanks Dory. You made me smile. ---

 

A little more reporting:

 

We played two games of Scrabble today. I asked Z to read to me from Book 2 before the second game. He did! :)

 

It was good, too. He read Pages 275 and 276. One part that stood out for him was, "Headship is a powerful concept. It calls on a man to be mature enough to nurture, validate and care for his wife."

 

Over the last two days we've been "making up" nicely.

 

and now:

Posted Today, 07:09 PM

Joel wrote to MJ and I this e-mail...

 

Quote

Hi MJ - I just spoke to Z.

 

He is a dead duck.

 

Please get an attorney, get him out of the home and get as much money as you can possibly get.. and enjoy your life without this man.

 

Dory - would you please put MJ in the private section?

 

We need to ALL support her and URGE her in this direction.

 

Yes - I just spoke to Z. Can you tell?

 

am so sorry that he has chosen NOT TO BE a Christlike HUSBAND -- and progress was being made, then full revert --

 

PRAY -- fervently -

PLAN -- file divorce ASAP due to Z's discussion with Joel

PLAY -- enjoy your children as best as you can

 

praying for you, dear heart -- I know this is painful,

June of

Edited by June & Ward
Link to post
Share on other sites

Based on your actions today, It seems that deep down you knew 'something' was coming.

 

Deep down, I think Z is hoping that someone will stop him from being a baby, 'cause, he can't do it himself.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell me, was this HIM who posted this?

 

http://joelandkathy.invisionzone.com/index.php?/topic/971-old-in-pain-causing-pain-to-wife-and-kids/page__view__findpost__p__29144

 

If so, maybe you could print it and show him.

Yes, it was and I thank you for pointing that out. Oh God, I'm just so sad.

 

He WAS doing this. I think it's his old pride or whatever that's unwilling to go all the way. Maybe he can sense that's all I want now -- to go ALL the way to an OHM.

 

I phoned him tonight to say I was staying in the city another night. He almost sounded like the old drinking buddy he visits, the tone of voice and style of speaking. I wonder... He did buy a bottle of something one time when I left.

 

He's VERY angry that Joel told him off today, calling him names. He made sure several times I UNDERSTOOD that he was DONE with this ministry! I eventually said I had to go and hung up.

 

Visited Son 2 tonight and one of the things he said was, he's thankful to have his parents nearby and doing good (his words)..

 

He doesn't know.

 

I dropped Son 2 off at his new girlfriend's house this evening. Met the girl, her parents, and her brother. It was SO obvious, the LOVE flowing back and forth from one to the other and outward toward me! Beautiful! Rare, I think.

 

Son 2 phoned his dad tonight a few hours after Z's conversation with Joel. He didn't tell me the whole conversation clearly, but his dad did tell him about the grabbing-the-phone incident.

 

What a pickle I feel I'm in! I have the feeling that the final straw wasn't really a big enough thing for me to get tough about. It's just that it blew up for me how IMPATIENT he is with almost ALL Christians, churches, etc.

 

He even brought up to me the other day how bad it was (don't remember the exact wording) that I went to church at the nearby Indian reserve a few years ago. That seemed to really bug him. One objection he had at the time was, I was going to bring home some of their evil spirits. (Give me a break.) The meetings were hosted by a pastor he knows and likes, too. Doesn't make sense, except that he wasn't in control of me.

 

I sent an email to a lawyer's office here in Brandon. (The City. There, you know.) Asked for an information appointment. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had quite a morning.

 

Phoned my sister and told her the whole story. She was wonderful. Reacted exactly right -- indignantly! She didn't even bat an eye when I mentioned the possibility of divorce. (She and her husband are pastors.)

 

I received a reply from a lawyer and he said to feel free to ask questions by email. So that's good. I don't have to be in the city for that.

 

NOW, I've just talked to Z on the phone. He called Son 2 and got me because I've got the son's phone. Z would have been able to tell I was very hesitant to talk. He said something like he didn't know how things would go when I come home and wondered if I knew when I was coming home.

 

He was quiet, calm. Said he still wants to do what he knows to do, meaning what he's learned through the ministry, but still does not want to be "involved" in it.

 

We ended up chatting about Son 3.

 

My sister said I don't deserve this.

 

I gotta go talk to Son 3's doctor.

 

Thanks for putting me here.

 

(Edit for grammar fix.)

Edited by MaryJane
Link to post
Share on other sites
Said he still wants to do what he knows to do, meaning what he's learned through the ministry, but still does not want to be "involved" in it.

 

He wants to use his WORDS to woo you but he doesn't want to be accountable for his ACTIONS once he ropes you in again. Ugh! I get that! Slippery slippery control.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes.

 

I could see from this morning's call it could get very tricky emotionally, to separate loving actions from abusive, controlling ones, in my mind.

That last little vestige of control wants to hang on so tightly. But to us wives it hurts so much that they won't lay it down for our hearts sake. When would we EVER use control to HURT THEM? We don't want the control, we just want them to lay down THEIRS and stop lording it over us.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Joel's words..

 

Please get an attorney, get him out of the home and get as much money as you can possibly get.. and enjoy your life without this man.

My words ...

 

Really, only you can decide if you can't live like this any longer and if you are tired of trying to fix this thing (called your marriage) alone.

 

MJ,

 

Do you think you can help him change without this ministry? If so, then go that route. If not, then move forward with divorce and let us love on you. this ministry is a fork in the road.

 

Soon I will finish editing my private string from Dec 2009 and post it in the ladies private section. Maybe it will inspire you. (editing mostly for real names)

 

Please get on the helpers call tonight.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I thank you with all my heart, Dory, for your response!

 

After I wrote my last post, I realized Joel HAD said those words. Hard to think and be emotional at the same time. :rolleyes:

 

I hope I can get on the call tonight. I'm kind of between towns and phones right now.

 

One more thing: Guess what? I just bought my FIRST cell phone! Didn't get much of a plan. It'll be $0.50/minute to the States. I should go charge it up and just USE it tonight!

 

God bless you!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ooweeee. We use www.powernetglobal.com for international calls. $.07 to Canada.

 

Glad you'll be on helpers calls. We will be sure to ask for you so to minimize your charge.

Thanks. I'll keep that company in mind. See if I can get something like it.

 

I'm all set up with my phone and Son 2's computer. :) :)

 

 

(Took out a real name.)

Edited by MaryJane
Link to post
Share on other sites

Mary Jane,

 

I am honestly so sorry to see you in this place. I am glad you have this quiet, private place to let it out and just be here with the rest of us.

 

I totally understand how hard of a decision this is to make. Know that I am praying for you.

 

So many care for you here.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you June and Miss Jane!

 

Yes, June, I'm in a bit of shock. I just meant, before, that my part of the conference call was over, and now I have to really get down to business. My oh my. I don't like it, but I don't like the control I feel I'm under at home either. Even though it's not as bad, in a way, as it used to be.

 

Now he's "quit" the ministry, what else can I do? He's not accountable to anybody anywhere else.

 

And he DID threaten to throw the phone in the fire. And we live at the end of a country road.

Edited by MaryJane
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...