Another Man Struggling

[gianno96]

Cluelessness exists but it's not an excuse...

 

Thanks Charles, I am not trying to make excuses, If I was the husband my wife needed me to be, she would still be here. I know it was my fault. My resentment (that I know I need to die to) is that she never told me, she never gave me a chance to change. I know I was not a perfect husband, who is? Jesus was the only perfect man I know of. Sure I made mistakes, I also did my best to fix those mistakes.

 

The day we seperated we talked and cried. She knew I loved her, she knew I cherished, and adored, her, she knew that I respected her, and she knew there was nothing in the world that I would not do for her to make her happy. She said all this. She just told me "It is not about you, I am just not happy"

she was tired of begging me to change..

 

My wife never asked me to change she never told me, she never communicated it to me. Her endearing words to me never changed, her actions never changed, We still held hands, laughed and played together. I remember every morning while she would put on her make-up I would sit on the bathtub and we just talked. Every night when I came home from work I would help her cook dinner or sometimes just sit at the table and we would talk. At least once a week I would run her a bubble bath and I would sit at the edge of the tub and we would talk. She was my best friend, we always had things to talk about. We had communication I was open to hear hear her feelings I never gave her a reason to feel like she couldn't talk to me.

 

That is why I am so frustrated(which I need to die to) She talked to me about everything but she NEVER told me she was hurting and gave me a chance to fix it. All I heard over and over again is "It has nothing to do with you, I am just not happy"

 

Maybe husband number 4 just passed his experation date.

 

Helpers keep slamming me until you get it through my thick skull because I am just not getting it.

[TimothyPaul]

Yes she did. U were not paying attention.

[gianno96]

Yes she did. U were not paying attention.

 

Then why couldn't she just tell me the truth. Why did she have to lie to me and tell me that I was a good husband and father, and say "it has nothing to do with you...I am just not happy. She joked a few times saying "maybe I have a brain tumor" "I don't know, I am just not happy." She also told me she was tired of being a mother, she was tired of being a manager, and she was tired of being a wife, she said I just wanna be Pam. She felt that she lost her identity. Well she couldn't get rid of her kids, and she needed her job so there was only one logical person to get rid of. She wanted an escape. I love my Pammysue, and I feel so much remorse that my wife was hurting and I couldn't see it. I am sure if you asked her she would tell you that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her to make her happy. She knows she was my queen. If you asked her she would tell you this.

 

I take full resonsibility and ownership of the breakdown of my marriage. If I knew how to read my wife's heart, I should have known she was hurting without her having to use words. I am not even going to try and minimize my Pammysue's pain she is carrying so many burdens from her family of origin, previous husbands, and now me. She has had a tough life and made some real bad choices, but she is a good woman. I want to help her, I want to heal her heart.

 

Ok I have been told not to worry about what she is doing and focus on dying to myself and becoming Christlike. I am just having a heart heavy day and need to vent.

[Charles from Cali]

When you pause long enough and get quiet.. You'll start to hear your wife's past pleas...... Trust me.. And when your wife starts to vent... You will see how much you ignored her... Look man, you're not unique... That's why you're here with US

God bless

[TimothyPaul]

Be on the couples call tonight

[Looney_Tunes]

How can the doctor help the sick patient if the patient can't tell the doctor what hurts.

 

I worked in a Newborn ICU for 23 years. Babies are not very good at telling their caregivers what is wrong with them, and yet we always managed to figure it out. Our NICU is rated one of the top 5 in the country, so our success rate is phenomenal. I can look at a baby who's intubated, so she can't cry, and tell you if she's in pain or if her heart's working properly or any number of other things. And with the exception of Dr. Doolittle, I've yet to hear a veterinarian say that his patients told him what was wrong.

 

I imagine you're getting the point by now. Had you lived with your wife in understanding, you could have figured it out.

 

Now that you're hanging out with us, you're learning all sorts of stuff about yourself. You've realized that you have all kinds of things going on inside of you that you didn't know about. Don't you think that's also true of your wife? Why didn't she just tell me - frankly, because she probably had no bleepin' clue herself! She told you what she knew, which was simply that something was missing and she couldn't put her finger on it. Unfortunately you didn't have the skill or the knowledge to take it any further, and frankly you didn't try very hard.

 

Charles is right . . . when you settle down a bit, you'll remember the times she tried to get you to understand. Trust me, she did. Women don't give up easily on their husband . . . we try to the best of our ability to get him to see what's going on, and when it doesn't work we read books and listen to teachings and do everything we can think of to get the knowledge we need to communicate with him. So knock off the why didn't she tell me garbage. She did the best she could.

 

Please recognize this line of reasoning for what it is - an attempt to excuse the fact that you've been a lousy husband.

[gianno96]

I guess I am a wild horse that needs to be broken in. Loon I am sure you have experience with this.

 

I understand what you are saying an I can assure you I have reflected and prayed quite a bit for God to show me where I failed to hear her pleas. I can see plenty of times where I made mistakes in my marriage. Again I am not nor will I ever be perfect. Through the teachings of this ministry and the help of everyone here, I have dug deeper to see where I failed as a husband to her. I now recognize so much more, and I am so sorry for hurting her so bad. I have been praying so hard for God to remove the chains of bitterness and unforgiveness I had towards my wife. It took this ministry to finally make that happen. Now that my eyes have been opened to the hurts I put upon my wife I see where I am the one who needs forgiveness not her.

 

As far as her telling me or not, I prayed again last night for God to reveal this to me again. The message I received was that it doesn't matter whether she told you or not, don't get hung up on that. The bottom line is that I broke her heart and I need to fix it PERIOD!

 

Please recognize this line of reasoning for what it is - an attempt to excuse the fact that you've been a lousy husband.

 

I don't need a response for this comment, we will have to agree to disagree on this one.

 

I take ownership for what I have done and full responsibility for it. I made mistakes which hurt my wife deeply, but I did the best I could with the tools and knowledge I had.

That does not make me bad, horrible, or lousy any more than I would tell my child that he is a bad, horrible, or lousy child just because he made mistakes. I know who I am in Christ, and I may not be a child, but I am still one of Gods children and I know my father would never tell me I am a horrible, lousy bad person. I was a good husband who screwed up and missed the mark. (Bananas vs. Water) Just like I am a child of God who continues to screw up and miss the mark of what he desires of me. God created me and I know he does not make anything bad, horrible, or lousy.

Edited October 23, 2012 by gianno96

[TimothyPaul]

I dont think anyone is saying you are bad, horrible or lousy. Your husbandry skills - the action required of being half of the one flesh relationship was bad, horrible, lousy. Very big difference.

 

I remember while being a young lad, I decided to opt out of Calculus. I took a test to opt out. I did bad, lousy and horrible on the exam. Didn't make me a bad, horrible lousy person. Just bad, lousy and horrible (reflected by the grade) at Calc. - Then I took the class and aced both the class and the exams. Once I had the tools, I was awesome.

 

So - regardless of euphoniums and excuses - reality is; I did bad, lousy and horrible on the exam. This is the same thing we have done with our marriages. - So take it for what it is and don't get defensive. Regardless of the reason, you did not do what God called you to do in your marriage. If you did not obey God, you were a bad husband, not a good one. Doesn't mean God doesn't love you. He hates the sin, not the sinner.

 

Nel suo servizio...TP

[gianno96]

I apologize for getting so defensive. When my wife left me for another man, my self esteem went down the toliet. You know the What was wrong with me? Was I not smart enough? Was I too ugly? Was I too fat? Was I lousy in bed? Was I too short? What was wrong with me? Why didn't she love me?

 

I knew I put her on a pedestal, there was nothing she could do wrong. In our 13 years we were together, I never remember her ever apologizing to me. Not even once. If we ever had any problems, I always assumed blame. I am not saying I was not to blame we all know I probably was. I did not take my marriage for granted. My wife was divorced 3 times before me. Do you think that I was that secure that she would never divorce me? I knew she had no problem whatsoever with divorce. It was not one of those things that she felt strongly against. It was not something she would work real hard to fix. If things get tough you cut and run. Life is too short to waste time trying to fix it, why take the chance if it may not work out?

 

I have worked so hard over the past two years to redeem my self esteem, and I am not totally there yet. Everytime I feel bad about who I am and begin to hate myself, I try to see myself through my heavenly fathers eyes and who I am to him. That helps me with my self esteem. So yes I tend to get kinda defensive when any quality of mine is put down because I worked so hard to feel good about myself again.

 

I will die to that part of me that takes offense everytime I am referred to as a lousy husband. When my son was litttle and he got in trouble, he would ask me "Papa am I a bad boy?" I would tell him, "No you are good boy who sometimes does bad things" So That's me, I am a good person who sometimes does lousy things, and being a husband was one of them.

 

From the time my wife told me she was not happy to the time I found out about the affair was less then a month, so to say that I didn't try very hard, perhaps. When she told me I asked questions with no answers. I set us up for couseling, and she refused to go. When she had told me she was unhappy, she was already checked out. She had someone else already meeting her needs and it was already too late for me to do anything. The only thing she could tell me was that she didn't want to be a wife, mother, or manager anymore. She was pretty good at faking it, and I was pretty good at missing the signs. As I continue to reflect back I still can't see them.

 

Please do not take offense to this. Trust me, I am perfectly clear on how I screwed up as a husband. I know this is the harvest of the seeds I have sown. I will even go ahead and die and say that I was a lousy husband. I got that. I destroyed her heart, and I want nothing more than to fix it. If she doesn't come back to me, so be it. I just want her happy. However it seems that every situation here is lumped as the same. Hear me out here. Could it just be possible? Just a little bit possible, that there are some differences?

 

Women don't give up easily on their husband . . . we try to the best of our ability to get him to see what's going on, and when it doesn't work we read books and listen to teachings and do everything we can think of to get the knowledge we need to communicate with him.

 

I mean divorced 3x , remarried 4x "Life is too short"

 

Read books, listened to teachings, etc. Everytime I gave my wife a book on marriage or tried to get her to go marriage teachings at the church she flat out rebuked me and that was years before we even seperated.

 

I am really not trying to be difficult here. I just want help. I need to get all the questions and facts out there so I can get the help I need.

 

Keep breaking me down. I need that old Joe to die so new one can emerge.

Edited October 24, 2012 by gianno96

[Looney_Tunes]

However it seems that every situation here is lumped as the same. Hear me out here. Could it just be possible? Just a little bit possible, that there are some differences?

 

Yes, it's possible. But the thing is, Joe, that it really doesn't matter. The solution is the same. Die to yourself, and love your wife as Christ loved the church. Maybe your wife is too far gone for your marriage to be restored. Maybe she's not. There's no way to tell right now. All I can tell you is that there is NO chance if you don't do this. And even if your wife doesn't come back to you, doing this is worth it.

 

Just quit with the what ifs, OK? Don't worry about whether or not your wife is different or whether she will respond the way you want her to. Just become Christlike. That's what God wants from you, and then the rest of your life will fall into place, even if it doesn't turn out to be the place you first imagined.

[gianno96]

Just become Christlike. That's what God wants from you, and then the rest of your life will fall into place, even if it doesn't turn out to be the place you first imagined.

 

Thanks Looney! You are right (of course) I will quit being difficult and commit to the process and become the man God is calling me to be.

[Looney_Tunes]

Sharing an awesome post from a man who has done this ~

 

This journey you are on is more than a how do I get my wife back program. It is first and foremost, how do I get my relationship with Christ back/where it needs to be for Him and not you. The term Christlike is very simple to break down. To be Christlike, one must always think as He would think before we act or react. Although this is not something we can obtain every minute of every day, it has to be your goal every minute of every day. People make mistakes and make bad choices. We are human and we are fallen but we can train our minds to focus only on the things that matter.

 

Jesus Christ came here to show us that a pure life could be lived here if the Father is our Lord and Master and we never stray from HIM. During His time here, did He not face persecution, defimation, slander, attacks on His character, spit on, and so on and so on? Yes, He did. How did He respond to each and every one of these things according to scripture? He responded in LOVE. He responded in love why? Because love conquers all.

 

So what is love? Love is a gift that is given. Love is not what one gets from another. As the song goes, "Oh how I love Jesus because He first loved me". Think about John 3:16. It is the most known and recited verse in the entire Bible. Yet, most people overlook the fact that it perfectly defines what love is. " For God so loved the world that HE GAVE" As believers of the Bible, we are given this definition so that we can be like HIM. God, our father, gave us the greatest give we could ever recieve, HIS son. HE gave us HIS son to show us what HE was willing to sacrifice to prove HIS love for us. What are you willing to give to show your wife your love her?

 

If this is truly a walk to Christlikeness and we are to be like Christ, shouldn't we be willing to sacrfice what Jesus did? What did Jesus sacrifice? He sacrificed everything including His physical being so that we could be saved from this treacherous evil world in which we live in. Think about this. God gave Adam and Eve every single thing needed to live perfectly but what did they do? They turned their eyes and ears from God and made a choice that was for them and not HIM. And, throughout the Old Testament man was constantly going against God and HIS laws and doing things for their own kingdoms and not HIS. In spite of all the documented stories of our rejection of HIM, HE never stopped loving us and the proof is, "God so loved the world that HE gave,".

 

We as husbands are commanded by God to Love our wives as Christ loved the church. How did He love the church? Unconditionally. That is the only true way to love our wives. In the garden of Gethsemane, Christ had to decide if He was willing to go through the awful torture and ultimately the cruxifction. He had a choice as do you with the walk you are currently on. The choice He had to make was, was He willing to be cruxified to save our souls not knowing how many or if any would accept Him as their savior. He did make the choice not knowing the end result. Why would He do this? Because He understood that to love some unconditionally means you must sacrifice everything and be willing to die in order for others ( your wife) may live.

 

What you are going through is no easy task but it can be done. I have walked it out and I survived. I did not win my wife back and that is okay because I now have the greatest gift anyone can ever hold. I have the uncondition love of Jesus Christ living inside my heart. If not for this journey, He would not be enbedded in every crevas of my being. Praise HIM!

 

I know this was long and I thank you for taking the time to read it. I wrote to you and anyone else willing to read this for a reason. There is a time when you must walk into your garden of Gethsemane to decide. You have to decide if you are willing to love your wife unconditionally and sacrifice everything not knowing whether she will choose your love or love of another. If you do choose to do this and be Christlike, you must forgive her for all the things she has done and the things she is currently doing. As Christ was bleeding on the cross, He felt alone and unsure ( Father why have you foresaken me?) but even in that awful moment of lonliness, He asked the Father to "forgive them for they know not what they do". That my friend is what true love looks like.

 

There is only one real question in the entire process that you need to answer. Are you willing to be like Him for her?

 

God Bless

David

[gianno96]

Wow that was powerful! Almost brought me to tears. Thanks Loon for really putting it into perspective.

[gianno96]

My wife has been estranged from her family since the seperation. When they found out she left me for another guy they were really upset. It is the same old story as many others here. Her family thought I was the greatest guy but didn't see what I was doing in our home. I had them fooled as well. Since her family did not support her decision to leave me, she shut them out of her life completely.

 

I had a conversation with my mother in law and came clean and told her that I do not hold my wife responsible for the breakdown of our marriage and it was completely my fault. I explained to her several ways where I had hurt my wife in our marriage and how I am suprised she stuck it out with me as long as she did. My mother in law was not accepting it. She started giving me a speech about for better or worse, etc...she should have stayed and worked it out, blah blah blah. Pretty suprising because my mother in law has been married 4x and my father in law has been married 5x. So they are the last people to be giving me marriage advice. Both of them are now single and alone.

 

I say all this to ask if it would be a good idea for me to write an apology letter to my Father, Mother, and sister in law explaining how I had hurt their daughter/sister in our marriage and maybe just open their eyes to see I was not the perfect guy they all thought I was. They have all supported me the past two years while their daughter shut them out. My wife was so alone in this, she couldn't even get the support of her family. No wonder she clinged tighter to the other guy, he was all she had.

 

I wouldn't tell her about the letter, but I am sure her family would. Do you think this might bring a little bit of healing to her heart or just cause more damage?

[gianno96]

Heard this on KLOVE and thought it was really good, and wanted to share. It is based on "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real

 

 

 

Christ Jesus, you have called me to love my wife tenderly and sacrificially, even as you love the church, but too often I know myself to be a selfish man with a distracted heart.

 

Please give me patience, gentleness, and kindness toward my wife, and the wisdom to value her for her gifts and ideas.

 

Teach me to be vulnerable with her, openly sharing my own heart and thoughts, hopes and fears, even as I seek to better understand her.

 

Remind me to be ever mindful of her interests and needs with each decision I make and to structure my life in such a way that she receives the best of my energy and attention, rather than the leftovers.

 

Give me courage to passionately pursue relationship with her even when I feel wronged or wounded.

 

Let me become for her a man of tenderness, kindness, creativity, and integrity, protecting and cherishing her by vigilantly guarding my own eyes and heart.

 

Above all, teach me to lead as you led, Jesus, in humility and service.

 

Only by your grace can I be a godly man and a good husband for my wife.

 

Lead me Lord, I pray.

 

Amen

Edited October 27, 2012 by gianno96

[InHisImage]

Joe,

 

You are in my prayers and intercession.

 

This ministry is like Mt. Everest in your path....God's put it here for a reason. One thing i learned from the Helpers here that might help you: Everything God does in your life is to build relationship with you. He desires a deep, trusting, personal relationship with you. He is ready and eager to hear from you every day, every hour, and about every concern.

 

God has placed this ministry right in the middle of your "comeback" because He desires a relationship with you. His plan for you is simple, a Christlike man of God. If you spend your time and energy working on your relationship with Him, your emotional needs, your relational needs, and your social needs will be met. God will meet you where you are and fill your heart, mind, and soul to the brim.

 

Give up "your plan" for your marriage...take up the battle of "God's Plan" your life. As you are faithful to God, He will work on your bahalf. Your wife's heart is her own...she has a free will...the good news is that God deals with hearts better than anyone. He is able to do exceedingly more than you, her friends, or famly will ever be able to do. As you become the Christlike man that HE's called you to be, you will become the "better choice" that Timothy Paul spoke of...

 

Again, i know the path you are on very well...you are in my prayers.

 

In Him,

 

IHI

[gianno96]

I know I don’t post too often, but since there is not any change to my situation, there is not much to say. Recently there is new information, and I wish I could say it was good, but unfortunately things have got worse.

 

I have been texting my wife every day for 4 months now, first once a day, then two and sometimes as much as 3 times a day. I have never received any kind of response back from her, but I kept hopeful because she had not asked me to stop either. I actually got a little bit hopeful because on Thanksgiving she sent her first text to me. It was a simple “Happy Thanksgiving”. It may not seem as much but after not having ANY communication with my wife since May, I thought that possibly she was starting to soften. Then last night….

 

I took a risk and pushed my text message a little farther. Huge mistake.

 

I sent her a romantic poem and ended it with an “I Love You”

 

I did finally get a response back but it was to tell me to stop. After 4 months of consistent texting every day, she had now told me to stop. My response back to her was

 

“I am sorry Pam. I don’t want to do anything to make you feel anything but happy. I will respect your wishes and boundaries.”

 

With that now the texting has stopped and I have absolutely no communication whatsoever with my wife.

What has changed? Why after 4 months would she ask me to stop? If she did not like the texting why would she have not told me sooner? Should it even matter?

 

I had discovered over the weekend that she has reconciled her relationship with the guy in Canada. At first it was another kick in gutt to learn this, but I told myself at least he is in another country and they have no physical contact and I just might have the home field advantage to pursuing her heart. The other side of the coin is that since it is a long distance relationship she will never get to see the true man he is. She will only get to see the side of him he wants her to see. That same side I used to show my wife before we were married before I became the man of her nightmares. They were married last week in an “online” ceremony and physically exchanged rings through the mail. Legally they are not married of course, because she is still legally married to me, but in their hearts and minds they are married to one another. Her oxytocin levels are through the roof right now, but someone else is feeding them to her.

 

I apologize that if in this description that the part of me which needs to die is coming out, but I am trying to get out the information which I feel needs to get presented to get the help I need, and I do not know any other way to do it. I do recognize how it comes across and how I still have a lot of work to do to die to myself.

 

My next issue is one that I have been thinking about for a while and have started to pray about. I discussed it on the Men’s call on Tuesday and it was suggested I post it on the forum and get some feedback from the helpers.

 

Some more background. When I first discovered that I led my wife into emotional adultery, I did not have Christ in my life, nor did I have the help of this ministry. Out of emotion I did many many wrong things to try and get my wife back, all of which pushed her farther away from me and closer to him. When she decided to go to Canada and spend 2 weeks with him in his apartment, I foolishly went to an attorney and filed for a divorce. She was served with the papers the day after she came back from Canada. She was furious with me. She told me that I never discussed divorce with her and I did not give her any option as to whether she wanted a divorce or not. She told me I was making the choice for her. She also was upset because she could not afford an attorney and I was forcing her to divorce without having any legal defense on her part. I was being controlling and I know now that is just one more form of abuse I put upon my wife.

 

She did eventually hire an attorney and had her own papers drawn up with many changes which I felt were unreasonable. I had my attorney make more changes which I felt were a fair compromise. She has had the papers in her possession since January of this year, but she will not sign them. Her reasons are that she does not agree with the changes I have made and until she has the funds to take them back to her attorney she will not sign. I believe the real reason is that she wants to take control back but at this point that does not matter.

 

I am in a different place in my life right now. I know I have not arrived and I have a long way to go, but as Kathy says, we will never arrive until Christ comes back. I am much farther in my walk with Christ; I am learning what it means to lay my life down for my wife, and what the terms are in the divorce papers do not matter to me anymore. What matters is that my wife feels safe, protected, and provided for. I want her to know that I am not going to dispute anything in the divorce and agree to give her everything she needs to ensure our children and her are well provided for. When Christ went to the Cross it was not fair, but he did it anyway. It was about laying his life down for his bride.

 

How do I communicate this to my wife? Should I communicate it to her or just continue to wait it out? If I was to do this am I still being controlling in a passive way? Am I telling her that now I am taking all the excuses away from her to not sign the papers, even though that is not my true intentions? How will she perceive it? My motivation for this is to take the control away from me and give it all to her. I will still wait as long as she needs and will continue to work on myself to become the man God wants me to be. I will still continue to pray for restoration of my marriage. Do I contact my attorney and have her change the divorce papers or wait for my wife to take the lead? I don’t know what, if anything I should do, I just want what is best for my wife. Please share your questions or thoughts.

[KLENTZ]

If you filed for divorce and your wife said you were not giving her a choice

 

why not stop the divorce ?

Let your wife file if she wants it let her know it is not what you want.

 

I am not a helper so ask someone else before you do this but I wanted to throw the thought out there.

[gianno96]

 

 

why not stop the divorce ?

Let your wife file if she wants it let her know it is not what you want.

 

 

 

I have put a hold on the process. My attorney wanted to go to court and have a judger force her hand to sign. I have stopped all proceeedings until further notice.

[gianno96]

Knock Knock......Is anybody home?.........Is this thing on?

[Looney_Tunes]

Knock Knock......Is anybody home?.........Is this thing on?

 

Yes, it's on . . . we helpers are spread pretty thin these days, and we all have lives. We're not ignoring you, although I know it feels like it sometimes. But sometimes the ministry has to take a back seat to whatever else is going on with us. Sorry for the delay.

 

You have probably already figured out that the romantic text pushed your wife too far. All you can do now is move forward.

 

I think you need to put the ball back in your wife's court as far as the divorce is concerned. Write her a letter, since she has asked you not to text. Apologize for trying to control the divorce process. Tell her that you do not want a divorce and you will not initiate it, but that you will not fight it and you will give her what she is asking for if she chooses to pursue it. Let her decide what to do from there.

 

Please post your letter before you send it, OK? We don't want you to accidentally include anything that might hurt her further.

[gianno96]

Thanks for the feedback Looney, and I do understand how busy you helpers are, and I do appreciate the time you give to the ministry.

 

Here is my letter to my wife, please review it and let me know what changes should be made.

 

Thanks

Joe

 

 

 

 

Pammysue,

 

On that day in June of 1999 we exchanged vows and planned to have a happy marriage which would last for the rest of our lives. You never dreamed that the following years would be filled with hurts which were initiated by your husband. You had dreams of our life together and your husband let you down so many times and in so many ways and I am extremely sorry.

 

The divorce was filed by me with no thought or consideration for what you wanted. I tried to control you and control the situation by trying to scare you back to me by hiring a lawyer and filing for a divorce. This was just one more way I tried to play a game to get you back. I regret I ever took that action. If that was not enough, I tried to fight some of the things you asked for in the divorce.

 

The end of our marriage is not something that I ever wanted, and that still has not changed. I am working hard and getting plenty of help to become a better man for you and our boys and I will continue that work even if our marriage does not see restoration.

 

I told my attorney back in August that I would no longer be pursuing the divorce. I do not want you to feel that I am controlling you in any way. You need to feel safe, protected and provided for, and I will do whatever I can to ensure you have everything you need. I will not dispute your wishes in the terms of the divorce, and I will not be initiating any action.

 

I am sorry you had to incur the lawyers’ fees, and should you decide to move forward, I will agree with the original drawn up papers by your attorney so no further costs to you will be accrued. I am sorry I tried to control the divorce process. I still do not want it, but I will no longer fight it, and I will give you everything you are asking for, should you choose to pursue it.

 

I am sorry for shattering your dreams and all of the pain I caused you. I am a truly blessed man to have the time we shared together.

 

Love

Joe

[TimothyPaul]

I am sorry you had to incur the lawyers’ fees, and should you decide to move forward, I will agree with the original drawn up papers by your attorney so no further costs to you will be accrued.

 

I wouldn't put this.

[Looney_Tunes]

I agree with Tim - leave the part about the fees out. Otherwise, it looks pretty good.

[Looney_Tunes]

A friend posted this on Facebook tonight. I'm passing it around.

 

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."

I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.

 

I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.

I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.

I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.

God has so much for you, I admit.

But don't worry...

If you stick with me, you'll never know.

 

~ Beth Moore ~