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Passion4one I appreciate you sharing an update. I want to encourage you to please God first.  You sound a lot like me in the physical touch area.  Be sure to observe your wife and create an inviting, exciting life she WANTS to be a part of.  It is up to you to set the stage so she is drawn to you.  Don't force touch as it will have the opposite effect on her reinforcing that you are not in tune with her.  Invite her to share in life with her just as Jesus does with us.  Be mindful of your actions and energy, you focus on being the man God has called you to be and it will work out.  

 

Praying for you today.

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How hard is it to push a chair in, shut a drawer and 2 put the dishes away instead of on the counter? It sounds like you are doing little things that you know will raise hair cortisol on purpose in order to set her up to make her look bad. You finally got back 2 participating on the men's cause last night after intentionally not participating for weeks. As of the date of your post, it seems as if you were a man on a mission with one purpose in mind and that is to raise your wife's cortisol. If you turn that around and make it your mission to raise her oxytocin, and to eliminate raising her cortisol, then you will have different results. It just occurred to me, I wonder if you ever apologized for that statement that you made to her of "no I don't get your drift"? That reply to her very nice statement is what started or initiated the downward spiral. Have you ever apologize to her? Or are the excuses still the only things that she has gotten from you about that? Perhaps you are trying to build on a foundation of no closure to that wound?

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  • 3 months later...

This is 1love. I wanted to post here what I have just posted on my thread Going for the Gold:

 

 

Posted Today, 03:21 AM

It's time to give an update here.

 

On February 4, I found out about another affair that was going on.

 

On February 5, he told me that he wanted me to know that he had asked God to forgive him, and that he was sorry he hurt me. I requested my adulterous husband to leave the house.

 

In the time since then, he has shown much hatred toward me. He has not shown fruits meet for repentance. In fact, he was not repentant as he was continuing in the affair.

 

He kept badmouthing this Christian based ministry that God directed us to, and we have been working with for 5 years.

 

He asked about meeting with someone else. I finally conceded, and we met with the pastor of the church where we have been going on Wednesday nights. We met with him before church on March 15.

 

The pastor said he would be willing to work with us but had to know that we both wanted the marriage.

 

My adulterous husband's response to the pastor was that it sounded interesting and a possibility. His words to me after church were that he "would think about it."

 

I sent an email to him on March 18 encouraging him to stop listening to the devil's lies and go back to striving to be the man of God that he has said he wants to be.

 

On March 20, around 10:30pm, he finally called me back as he had said he would do around 3:00pm.

 

He had read a letter I had written him in September. He had read my email. He had read the Bible.

 

He has found someone that he "loves" and is not interested in working on the marriage. He could not in "good conscience" tell the pastor that he wanted the marriage.

 

According to my email, I still expect him to change. God is loving and forgiving.

 

I think the recipient of the passion from "passion4one" is himself!

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