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God Save My Marriage

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Yes indeed MJ.  It is easy to get stuck in our own views (e.g., self-verification theory) and we need to be shown a different perspective. In this case how my wife would affected and how I ought to consider my response to her and the third party.  Through the ministry I have learned so much from you and others when I drop my defensives and am willing to really examine my actions/motivations being honest with myself in areas that need to change.  

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What do you think made you willing to listen?

For me it started with Ken Nair's book, Discovering The Mind Of A Woman.  I thought I was a pretty good Christian and it was not until I read that book that I really saw how far short I had fallen in my walk as a christian and husband.  The calls and forum have helped propel me along as continue to learn from others too.  Also, once I grabbed hold of Ephesians 5:25 at its core I really started to see changes in myself being open to listen to others that have been really living that out.

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I am all up for questions.  :) I was searching high and low to figure out what went wrong in my marriage.  I read an article and another man posted about how he read the book and how much it turned things around, helping to take ownership of what he did wrong and how it affected his wife.  I was taken back by the way he wrote and it was counter to all I knew at that point. When I started to read the book it was like a light bulb went off..I felt the scales fall from my eyes.  I saw my wife in a whole new light and could not change fast enough!  I went to Amazon.com right away and picked-up the book that happened to be sold by Joel and Kathy which lead me here.  I contacted them via facebook and explained how the ministry was helping me and Joel asked me to give him a call.  We ended up talking for about an hour and I got signed-up for the men's calls that day and have been on ever since.  

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Thanks again ladies.  

 

My wife shared this article with me today, 4 Things That Are Hurting Your Wife and Killing Your Marriage, of which all areas I have affected me in the past.  I am glad she is able to share this with me.  Still learning to be the best husband and father I can be.  Have a blessed weekend all.

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Merry Christmas to all.  I wanted to take a moment to say how thankful I am that I found this ministry just over a year ago.  I have gone from nearly divorced to the road of restoration.  There is still work to be done, but I trust in the Lord and see that by seeking Him out in all ways He will lead me home and I will not be forsaken.  I hope this post is hopeful to those that have followed my thread.  I had a pivot point over a year ago and never want to be that man I was before.  I pray that those of you struggling with fear, anger, resentment and other hurts, that you bring them to Jesus and allow Him to be your healer.  His birth and death was to bring us all new and everlasting life!  May the peace and joy of the Lord be with you this day and all the days of your life.  In Jesus name I pray. 

Edited by ChooseLove
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  • 2 weeks later...

Happy new year all.  I am getting used to the new layout for the forum.  Overall we have a great holiday as I was off work from the 12/25 through yesterday (1/4).  I was able to spend lots of time with my wife and family.  We had two dates on Saturday which was great!  Getting out to  breakfast in the morning and then a movie in the evening.  I also finished a great book by Gary Thomas, A Life Long Love which I recommend.  It is great to read other authors that are able to articulate what marriage should really be about.  

 

It has taken me awhile to get to a place to where I regularly think "How can I bless my wife?" and not focus on my selfish wants/desires.  I seek to throw off the self I have been, seeking out be loved in my own way, rather seeking to love and give.  It really is eye-opening when we see how living a Christlike life is that of sacrificial giving.  I remember the passage Joel wrote about in the first book about dying to self, at first it is very, very hard, but the longer we do it the easier it becomes.  Now I catch myself when I start to get disappointed/depressed about my wife or others in my life not acting/behaving the way I want them to.  I love them where they are at, as God's precious children.  it is very rewarding and fulfilling to pursue this kind of love. I see how important it is to be plugged into the power for that love through God's Holy Spirit.

 

Have a blessed 2015 all.  As a family today we prayed that it is the year of "Let It Go" meaning letting go of things/possessions and anything else that would hold us back from receiving God's abundant blessings.  May the peace and joy of the Lord be with you!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just a quick update to say that my wife and I continue on our road to an OHM.  Thank you all for your continued prayers and support through the ministry.  It really is such an amazing experience to look forward to blessing my wife and family everyday.

 

Philippians 1:  

 

 

 

3Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, 5for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

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Had a great weekend with my beautiful bride getting out to a lovely restaurant and simply spending some quality time together.  Looking forward to a bright future - thanks be to God.  

 

I just read a good post on martial drift at Simple Marriage - http://simplemarriage.net/marital-drift/I would recommend, particularly for the guys out there.  Ask yourself how can you bless your wife today?  Be the change, loving your wife like no other.  I promise you it is worth it.  I love my wife!

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Good reminder for the day...

 

Faith Tabernacle                               http://ft111.com

 

January 27, 2015  

 
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS  
Watch and be aware that the enemy will try to draw you into old traps.  The result of falling into the same trap over and over again will result in your inability to move forward as you encounter one dead end after another.  Now is the time to pay attention and to learn to avoid the first step that leads you down the wrong path, says the Lord.  Stay in the flow of My Spirit.

Ecclesiastes 9:12 For man also does not know his time: Like fish taken in a cruel net, like birds caught in a snare, so the sons of men are snared in an evil time, when it falls suddenly upon them. 
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Another good reminder for the day...

 

Faith Tabernacle                               http://ft111.com

 

January 29, 2015  

 
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS    
You are embarking on a new phase of existence, and spiritual understanding is vital to your well-being.  If you will quiet your inside chatter and listen, I will give you wisdom and instruction.  You cannot hear My voice unless you take control of your thoughts and emotions.  I want to be able to lead, guide, direct and protect you, says the Lord.  Be calm and yield to My leading.  

Psalms 131:2 Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.
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  • 3 weeks later...

Good morning friends.  I hope many of you had a good Valentine's Day weekend.  I enjoyed time with my beautiful bride and family.  

 

I wanted to share a devotion for the day that was encouraging to me to draw strength from the Lord. In all circumstances may we rely on our Lord and Savior Jesus.  Hold onto His promises - never give up, never give in.  Our Lord is for us!  Let us run the good race into His loving arms.  May the peace and joy of the Lord be with you.

 

Faith Tabernacle                               http://ft111.com

 

February 18, 2015  

 
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:
 
I speak to many of you, My people, who feel exhausted.  You will not be able to rectify this condition in the natural realm.  Your refreshment will come from being in My presence.  Much of what feels like being extremely tired comes from discouragement because of circumstances and natural conditions.  Encourage yourself in Me--in spiritual truth--and take the time to be rejuvenated, says the Lord.  

1 Samuel 30:6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.
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Thanks for the posts. The "discouragement due to circumstances" message is very relevant for me right now. My divorce was finalized Friday (3 weeks and 4 days after filing) and I can't think of a more important time to keep remembering that my relationship with Christ is what determines my true happiness as well as my authenticity in treating my former wife Christ-like. To be honest, a weak part of me wants to give up and let her go, but I also realize that stopping the Christ-like interaction with her would send the message that those actions prior to the divorce were phony (which they were not). My ex (hate typing that word) and I get along well and we have three children, so I will have plenty of opportunities to demonstrate agape love despite the "circumstances" manifested in the form of the dissolution of marriage document.

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