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God Save My Marriage

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It was a comment made from a place of pain/anger and desperation. And a comment that he has taken back, apologized for and it was forgiven. That's what's so amazing about grace. :D

 

And it was quite clear yesterday that everyone missed me and still considered me family . . . I heard several "Auntie B"s . . . and there were lots of hugs. I realized that I do still have family here who love me, and there will be some BBQing happening in the future. There was talk of a family reunion this summer and everyone said they wanted to see me there. :D Felt good to be loved and embraced by them all . . . I had missed all my sisters in law, and my brother in law . . . and nieces and nephews, and one of his cousins, we used to have over with his wife. He and I took up where we left off yesterday and he made me promise that I would sing at his funeral too! :rotfl: It was a fun but bittersweet day. Grandma would have been happy to see everyone together again.

 

The songs were actually beautiful! My worship pastor and friend, has written a song called, "Twenty Three" for Psalm 23. I sang it yesterday, along with Tears in Heaven, by Eric Clapton. Everyone was moved and Cap had his boss and friend, who is a Baptist preacher on the weekends, do the sermon. I think one of his sisters was having a "faith" talk with him after the service. And one of is sisters called me last night and we cried together. She told me how great it was to see me and how the music made the service. I am always in awe of how God can use his people to touch others. Even in a situation like this.

 

Thanks U-FW . . . Sister B loves you! :D

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Sent off for the test to see if GLUTEN is my issue re: my health. I'm going in in about an hour to review my blood tests from last week.

 

Just the sound of the word GLUTEN makes me wanna bloat up! :rotfl: Whatever . . . bring it on! Headaches, gut-aches, joint aches, anyone have experience with this stuff???

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he made me promise that I would sing at his funeral too! :rotfl:

Funny. :) It's probably healthy to have a little humour mixed in with the sadness and sentiment, don't you think? :( :) :(

 

May God bless you in every way possible, Sister B!

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well we most defintely NEED to laugh . . . :rotfl: and this cousin and I always laughed alot! :D He's an ex cop and alittle rough around the edges, LIKE ME! :P Or at least I "used" to be rough around the edges . . . God's love seem to have a smoothing effect on my edges. :)

 

One of the things that happened that I've been reflecting on though was a red flag. My oldest son, at the end of the ceremony, when everyone was about to leave, started falling apart. He cried very hard and of course I held him. I've only seen him cry like that 2 times . . . but his father seemed very detached from his son's emotion . . . I even thought I saw him look at our son with a look that said, "what are YOU crying about". Grandma was old and they kids weren't that close to her, but I think the finality of it got to my boy. Maybe Cap was overwhelmed by everything, because he then came over and grabbed the three of us into a "family hug". But I've thought of that several times since. Obviously, there is a wound there for me.

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. . . but his father seemed very detached from his son's emotion . . . I even thought I saw him look at our son with a look that said, "what are YOU crying about". Grandma was old and they kids weren't that close to her, but I think the finality of it got to my boy. Maybe Cap was overwhelmed by everything, because he then came over and grabbed the three of us into a "family hug". But I've thought of that several times since. Obviously, there is a wound there for me.

I can understand there probably is a wound in that for you. Also, it's hard to say what Cap's look really did mean.

 

Sounds like he did a good job of overcoming whatever it was.

 

B)

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Sister B,

 

So sorry you had to go through all of this, but at the same time I am happy that you had the opportunity to walk through this with your family. My one thought about your son... GOD knew you needed to be there for him, because if what you 'think' was Cap's look of ---> Oh brother, towards the situation was accurate then he likely would not have stepped forward and embraced your son. I think that you were the roll model for Cap. He may have been insecure on his own, but once he saw you step up to the plate and... No one else was digusted by your sons "break down", then he felt safe enough to join in, and do the 'right' thing. I hope that in the end it brought some healing and comfort to your son; if it left you with a pain, then it may have left one for your son as well, or he may not have noticed the hesitation on Cap's part because you were there. Let's face it too, he knows where to go for comfort!! I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this, but I truly believe that it is GOD's way of having you grow. You are always faithful to GOD, so He is always faithful to you. Sending love North to you.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

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thanks girlfriends . . . I think you have something there Tigger. Cap was hestitant to come to our son. I wasn't sure he even noticed, or if he was distacted because he was "in charge" and everyone was waiting for him so we could all leave. But he did learn very quickly what was important . . . our boy! It was good for my son to be held by his mom AND dad in his grief. And the whole experience seems to have brought us all closer in a way.

 

I've had the opportunity to let Cap know of a couple of old "wounds" here this last week. Today he told me he really wanted to HEAR me, and understand my hurts. He's welcoming me to vent . . . I don't know if he can handle it, but as Kathy said, "time will tell". He apparantly is still on the men's calls. :unsure: Nothing bad can come from that . . .

 

Spring is springing everywhere . . . new life is springing forth! My flowers and trees are budding and it's so awesome to be done with winter (I hope). Soccer starts tomorrow for my youngest (11) sweet boy. My oldest (14) is really wanting to spread his wings lately. Today I let him leave from school with friends to ride the city bus to the mall! :o HUGE for me.

 

Doing worship this weekend . . . listen to this song friends!!!

 

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I've had the opportunity to let Cap know of a couple of old "wounds" here this last week. Today he told me he really wanted to HEAR me, and understand my hurts. He's welcoming me to vent . . . I don't know if he can handle it, but as Kathy said, "time will tell". He apparantly is still on the men's calls. :unsure: Nothing bad can come from that . . .

In-ter-est-ing. B)

 

---

 

Signs of spring! Great!

 

Here, the signs are, more sunshine, that's all. Some melting of snow but still lots around. Big snow banks.

 

The buds will come though!

 

I can't get youtube videos to come through properly. Too bad.

 

Blessings to you, Sister B! :)

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did you hear the song MJ!!!! :D Singing it this weekend was so fun . . . great time of worship in God's house here. Capstone and the boys even showed up.

 

Same as Looney, I've been having the weird dizzy thing here . . . they did all this vertigo testing for "positional vertigo" because a crystal can get stuck inside your head I guess . . . I never knew I had a vestibular, but I guess I do. :unsure: And it has issues, though they did not think I had pv. So they think it's a viral thing . . . that's what they say when they don't know what to say.

 

Kinda weird that we'd have the same thing going on. :huh: On the way to work I turned my car around last week and came back home. And I missed several days last week from it. My naturopath gave me $80 worth of viral concoctions to take . . . doesn't seem to be helping. :wacko:

 

But at least I don't feel like I'm going to :puke: anymore. Gluten testing "specimen" just got sent it . . . :blush:

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there seem to be real positives happening with you, Sister B --

this is wonderful

 

re: possible vertigo --

I had this a few years ago -- and a simple therapy helped me incredibly -- it only took a few different times to get the symptoms to go away completely

 

sit on the side of the bed -- turn the head all the way to the left, while it is still turned take the right shoulder all the way down to the bed (lying on your side looking at the ceiling) for 30 seconds

slowly sit up

THEN do the same thing but reverse it to the other side

 

perhaps this is what they are doing for you -- anyhow, if it does not help, it can't hurt.

 

is chocolate a possible remedy?? :D :D

 

blessings dear heart,

June of

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Sister B,

 

I can empathize with you. Been through so many of those tests, and then some; back 15+ years when I first became disabled. I really feel your pain, or dizziness as the case may be :rotfl: .

 

After I typed in this icon :rotfl: , I really thought about how funny or NOT funny that was. When you have dizziness problems you can not move your head without feeling like you are going to fall over!! Can you imagine how this little guy :rotfl: must feel when he is spinning around all the time!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Well anyway... I hope you will soon be feeling better, Looney too!! Sorry to hear that you too went through this too June. You too can know what it is like and understand the struggle.

 

I still live with this everyday, and have for over 15+ years. I do not have anything wrong with my ears, so they found out after 2+ years of testing me(initially, not counting all that have happened since then) with the worst inventions known to the dizzy person :blink:, plus hundreds of thousands of dollars in expense. As I said, to the doctors and testers, up front... it is a Neurological problem. I am just one of those dumb humanoids that does not know anything, or at least not near what the doctorgods know!! :o

 

I Praise GOD that I am now able to walk. Initially the doctor told my H to put me in a nursing home, I would never get any better. I was confined to bed, so GOD is truly the best doctor, because now I can walk, even though I need to use a quad cane, I am still up and more independent; well... I was up and walking until I broke my foot, but that will heal one of these days. I am not complaining, I thank GOD I am doing as well as I am.

 

Well sorry for the walk down my own lane, on your fork. Praying for you my sister, sending hugs up north to you!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

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re: possible vertigo --

I had this a few years ago -- and a simple therapy helped me incredibly -- it only took a few different times to get the symptoms to go away completely

yes . . . I have a two page sheet with all these "exercises" on it . . . I did some of them last night. It's all I have so I'll continue to do it. Funny though, you get used to going through life as a dizzy blonde! HA But I don't like it, not one little bit!

 

there seem to be real positives happening with you, Sister B --

this is wonderful

Time will tell. I'd rather Cap take his time and really get God's love, really embrace it into his heart, rather than in his head where these guys live. Maybe then he can love someone as Christ. That's what I want for him more than anything.

 

And there's a "friend" coming next week, the one who drove 5 hours across the desert for me while I was in CA. He'll be kicking around town for a week or so. He's been a friend for a long time and I know he wants to be "more". I am very attracted to his faith and character . . . VERY godly man. But I also don't want to mess up a good friendship. We shall see what God has in mind . . .

 

Well sorry for the walk down my own lane, on your fork.
Tigger, you can walk or hobble down the lane on my fork, ANYTIME!!! :D

 

Looney - send photos!!! Also, I am hoping that when I get to WV this summer, maybe you can come see me??? I'm hoping to be there around 4th of July, week before or after. Let's get our blonde, dizzy selves together again!!!

 

love ya'll

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Oh Sister,

 

You made me laugh so hard!! I love it "hobble"!! That is an accurate picture of what I can come close to doing in the walking department right now, but I am not complaining!! I went to a new doctor for my foot and hand yesterday. He is going to send me for an MRI, because he wants to get a better picture of what is going on in there. He agrees that it should not look like this, especially after 16 weeks/(nearly)4 months. Anyway, I feel more hopeful with this doctor, he actually listened to me and was not rushing to be out the door. The other person I saw seemed to be inconvienenced by me being there. It is kind of funny I usually like female practicioners better and I often like to work with a PA better then a doctor. In this case it has not worked out that way. The male doctor I saw yesterday got down on his knees and took my cast off, he looked and 'touched' me all while he was on HIS knees. :blink: The female PA would call in a MA to take off my cast and she would rely on just looking at the scans and looking as the old ones and she would NOT get down and really look at the foot or even dare to barely touch the foot. She seemed afraid to touch it and she would have me lift it up and hold it so she could look at it, which in and of itself was not an issue; I guess you could say that you would have just had to see how it went, then see how yesterday's appointment went. I think I will copy this to my thread... if I can find it :huh: , it is a good update on that area of my life.

 

I will keep your life situation in prayer, in addition to your health. Where are you going in WV and why? I have family in the northern part of the state and more towards the west, I think near where Sonworshipper's family is: Parkersburg, WV, which is right on the Ohio border. My parents lived in WV for several years, but moved from there when we had children and when we were relocated out here, they came with us. They only lived there after retirement, so it was never really "home" for me, but I enjoyed visiting. I hope you will have a good trip there. I sure hope you have one of those frequent fly plans, you do alot of traveling, so that would come in handy. Wishing you well.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

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Tigger - I was born in WV . . . my daddy was a coal miner when I was a baby! Got lots of relatives there, mostly in southern WV. Thanks for the prayers girlfriend!

 

Toonsey - I WILL be there! And maybe you can start with a gentle highlights. Good way to hide those pesky grey hairs that are creepin' in! LOL!!

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