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God Save My Marriage

Close by but can't visit wife and kids


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Amen!  James 1:6 comes to mind... But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  Praying with you.  May you find peace and contentment in the storm, knowing your Heavenly Father is watching over you. Don't be afraid.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdH2TgTJDXE

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Dear Lord, strengthen my trust, empower me to cast out doubt and exalt those things that are not as if they were in your name, in your name I proclaim my family will be reunited, my marriage will be restored, my wifes heart will be healed, I will be the husband who cares, loves, cherishes your daughter that you demand I be by your word, I will be the father, caretaker of your sons that you demand I be by your word...I pray these things in your name, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

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Dear Lord, strengthen my trust, empower me to cast out doubt and exalt those things that are not as if they were in your name, in your name I proclaim my family will be reunited, my marriage will be restored, my wifes heart will be healed, I will be the husband who cares, loves, cherishes your daughter that you demand I be by your word, I will be the father, caretaker of your sons that you demand I be by your word...I pray these things in your name, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Amen.  Great hearing you on the call last night.  Peace be with you brother.

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Father passed Monday....still have not been served.....still praying on saying out loud "Calleth on those things that are not as if they were....my family will be reunited, my marriage will be restored"   Wife and I splitting time with boys during my medical recovery while I stay with friends family.....be gone 9-28 Aug for program at Ft Gordon paid for by Army to deal with stress, anxiety, sleeplessness......unlikely my wife will let me spend BDay with her and boys but will pray for it.....also pray I get to move home and get reunited with family...if not househunting for me 9-28 Sep....I sign out of Army 2 OCT....good riddance!.......that is about all now.....glad the forum is back up

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I'm sorry, Skiingco, about the passing of your father. Had he been ill for awhile?

 

You have a lot going on. Maybe that program the army is paying for will be very beneficial for you. I hope so.

 

Glad to see you are staying the course.

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Skiingco, if you believe it is a joke then it is and your prayer will be hindered to be reunited and healed.  

 

Take a look at James 1, in particular verse 8 and mediate on that.  I want to see you thrive brother, but honestly since you have come to the ministry I have seen you struggle with this area of double-mindedness (I have been there many time myself).  Again, I highly recommend the 21-day Brain Detox by Dr. Caroline Leaf at http://21daybraindetox.com/to help in the area of mindfulness.

 

Trials and Temptations

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

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You know Skiingco, just today I got in touch with my own weakness in not wanting to be alone. It just seems that I am so much more positive and energetic when I have someone else in the house with me or someone to do something for.. or someone to work alongside me... my daughter just returned to school yesterday. She is completing her senior year of high school concurrently with her first year of college in a special program. So she will be very, very busy and mostly unavailable. Because she also has taekwando classes 3x per week and leadership training in her youth group at church. Our summer is over! The woman who has been working with me to help me remodel my house just took off for a ten day family reunion. My flooring, painting etc. is all in the middle half done. My house is a mess! And I feel alone and overwhelmed today!

 

BUT I have a choice. I can go with my feelings... or...

 

I can worship God and ask him to heal the wounds in me that lie to me and make me want to believe that I cannot live on my own. I cannot be successful on my own.. etc.. etc....

 

I can choose LIFE...

OR I can choose sour grapes and bitterness

 

And to be honest, we all have sour ugly bitter feelings and tendencies that just seem so stubborn sometimes. And that's usually because there is an unhealed wound at the bottom of the pile that requires forgiveness. IF you are serious about getting well then you will go searching for that wound so you can cover it in the Blood of Jesus and move on with your life.

 

By the way, Dr. Leaf's program is outstanding and an excellent resource! (Thank you, ChooseLove!)

 

And finally, when God shakes things up in marriages He often has to allow the old to die completely.. go all the way through divorce and what seems to be the final death of all hope.. before He can move to do the changes required that will insure a healthier relationship when it is reconciled. I am NOT promising you that this is what is happening or will happen in your case, but just because you were served papers and things seem desperately final.. is NO REASON to act so childish. There is a difference between sharing your hurts and feelings and what you are doing.

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So, Men's call suggested I update....did not know the forum was working again.

 

So much has happened, way too much to type.

 

Retired, got out of SC, back to FL, working as Defense Contractor on Macdill, where I was assigned before.  The hiring was GOD's miracle no doubt.

 

Still pray for her....divorce went to temp hearing, Judge said go back to mediation and today the shocker there was I offered for her to buy what is left on house, keep the equity, which is more than $30 begin collecting the portion of military retirement pension law says she gets, pay her an additional $1K alimony and share kids 50 50.   She turned it down and now we are back to court, for the next 10K in lawyer in bills

 

Devil has his claws on her.  

 

Other great news is I take the boys to church when they are with me.  I got an apt right before 1st year, so my days as gypsy ended

 

So much more to story, but I am always on the lookout to try and give a Blessing.

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Thanks for the update Skiingco.  I am sorry to hear she rejected the offer.  It sounded reasonable based on what I understood on the call.  Perhaps as Joel suggested she does want to sell the house and move on from those memories but it is hard for her to let go.  It sounds like you are are in a better place.  You may be one of the few people shining the light of Christ in her life - keep fighting the good fight.  I am praying for you brother. 

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Such a long time.....I get flashbacks as the days that go by, what I was doing a year ago, her retaining a lawyer, Aug will be when I was contacted on the road while I was going to a Military Health course notifying me of filing.......the year before that being when I was in the affair.....waiting on Judges temp ruling.fighting for 50% time sharing......so many wicked stories...sometimes it gets to me, but a lot of times, as I tell my cousin, the Devil has claws on her....if she ever resurfaces, I suspect she will have grave regret for what she has done.....I still do things to plant seeds here and there....I am not committed to the marriage, it is ending.....I am wrong for that, I know, but I know understand why David from the ministry highlighted that King David was a tormented man, but loved GOD and obviously GOD loved him....my middle name is David....I remember begging, pleading in prayer for a miracle, to be reunited, being so regretful and ashamed for the harm I caused.....I have my own scars now from the benefit of her anger towards me and continue to get more...but, I am not surprised and expected it....I am concentrating on being a better me and my sons now accept that when they are with me, we are going to Church...I am definitely ok with consistent exposure to Christ, especially in the freakish, vile, corrupt country we live in, the United States of Sodom and Gomorrah.....so, final trial is scheduled for September....I hope I get to spend good time with my sons over the summer...I have the oldest one at Boy Scout Camp and then she is taking the younger one to day camp while the oldest helps as a Boy Scout....she did this for the oldest when he was a cub scout....then they will only have 6 weeks of summer break left.....I think that is enough for now....I draw inspiration from Paul.....I think of acknowledging as a Christian that lives will be hard, and painful living in the Natural....I think that Paul did not know when his last day was and for us, we must accept, this world is evil, full of heartbreak.....GOD promised to answer our prayers, he did, in delivering his Son and promising to rescue our souls in the rapture...so, where that leaves us in the Natural, is to cherish as much as we can our loved ones who are still in our lives and pray for those who have rejected us, we will hopefully see them again....for me, that is my two sons, my extended family and when disciplined to do so, pray for my wife's healing..........on a side note, I pray for the strength to never remarry, my widowed Aunt did it when she was younger than I am now....statistically I have 30 years, my sons are in their 20s when I am 58ish.....I statistically am supposed to work to 65...so, that leaves me 65-76, when sexual urges are past gone, to spend my time visiting the kids families when I can....I am ok with that.....perhaps I will still be able to get in the occasional scuba dive, sky dive, deep see fishing.....I see a lot of Seniors doing it now....I guess 60 is the new 50, 70 is the new 60.....better keep taking my multi-vitamins, Ripley out...oh wait that is from a movie, Bua hah hah :roll:

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Definitely a struggle....I know the Devil has his claws on her, but I get tired of bearing everything.  I have some days where stuff rolls right off of me, then other times it catches.  I have to stay focused on making the most out of when the boys are with me.

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MJ, she and her lawyer had one of my friends on my friend list report what I was posting.  As an example, I made a comment about Paula Patton looking Hot in Warcraft and "bring on the sequel"....no that is not Christianlike and yes I am a man who has been going through separation/divorce for two years struggling with carnal temptation daily, amongst other things, such as trying not to hate my wife who is possessed by the Devil.  Her and her lawyer than sent a note to my lawyer saying I was advocating pornography with this post.  Our sons do not have FB access, so the relevance of her sending that lawyer is clearly part of a strategic campaign to keep the kids away from me and continue fighting joint custody.  At the same time she is receiving a combined 4900 a month for alimony/child support on a temp order, because she convinced the judge she shouldn't have to get a job over the summer.  So she won and sits on her but in pajamas until 11AM most days at my expense, while I continue to work for the govt post military retirement instead of using the 9/11 GI Bill to go to school. Worst of all, the judge is essentially using my job against me to prevent me from having 50% custody and my 8.5 year old several months ago stop saying he loves.  I have a lot of observations of my kids that concern me, but the judge also refused to let me try to get them back to the therapist that Georgina originally picked, but then disagreed to letting them continue when the therapist refused to testify; the therapist reminded Georgina and her lawyer that in Jan 2015 she would not get involved in litigation.  There is so much more than this.  It is so hard to not despise her and to keep open to any miracle where she wakes up and realizes what she has done.  My faith is tested so much.  Our laws and govt are of the natural and are not Divine, not even close. I however, wish that the Holy Spirit would intervene and use the system to deliver Grace here.  I committed terrible hurt to my wife and put so much effort to reconcile and she rejected me.  My sons and I do not deserve to get damaged by her continued actions, it is not right and I keep wondering where is GOD's Grace, his protection.  I would lastly say that when my female lawyer gets disgusted at some these bonehead decisions by the female judge, a woman getting mad at another woman, that should say something.

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