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PS.. "this process" starts with you accepting a very basic truth:  You are very seriously emotionally and mentally immature. Your emotions and thought patterns.. your reactions and decisions ALL have to be matured through a growth period.


In a healthy marriage the husband is not afraid to listen to his wife whom God gives spiritual eyes and ears to see things he can't see. He trusts her and her intentions to help him.. to guide him through rough waters with her prayers and love and confrontations!


But when husband is immature and macho, he shuts out his wife, acts like he is the only protector and provider.. like he is the important one and she is just the side-kick that enhances his self-image.



Did it ever occur to you that God IS answering your prayer- by requiring you to change??


Or that praying to keep your family together is not in everyone's best interests at this time?


What does true love really look like in your situation??  God's love, that is! Not your or my idea of love...

Edited by 4evrHZdtr3
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David...had enough of your criticism...you dont know what is going on and you are not helping...I am losing my wife and will miss out on years if special moments with my kids by not libing in my home

..leave me alone

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Stop throwing insults at me....I have learned GOD is choosing to not intervene and stop the end of my marriage and the automatic damage to my awesome sons...he is truly the one and only divine power above all but clearly is going to allow the suffering...I cant do anything about it nor can anything be done to make my wife listen to all the people who told her to work it out...it is done and now I must accept my new sucky garbage loner loser failure life...I am not superficial and refuse to put makeup on how pathetic this is...I am hosed

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Little children need an almighty(GOD) parent to do everything for them and to be responsible for everything. Then, when they grow up they gradually get invited into more and more of the parents' plans and decision making. They learn to take on more and more responsibility for their choices. But then there are those who never grow up. Their bodies may mature but they are still busy throwing tantrums when their parents' or spouses don't jump and do what they say. Sadly, if that's you or me we tend to also treat GOD that way. Yes, He is sovereign, but He has invited you to co-create with Him.. to have relationship.. and sadly you are just throwing a very BIG tantrum and trying to cover it in GOD speak. How's that working for you?

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4ever..feel free to call my wife and have her tirade about awful I am....813 520 0892...David my apologies and thank you for spending so much time with me..so based on that


Be still...I am GOD


Ok GOD if you used David for the Holy Spirit to do your works tonight then I am accepting you want our family redtored and will pray for my heart and my wifes healing....your will be done...so I will now look for your Grace during these days and your miracle...In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit...Amen

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Skiico, we know you are in a lot of pain.  You have MANY that are pouring into you because you are fellow child of our Heavenly Father and heir to the Kingdom of God. We want you to discover joy and peace despite the circumstances you find yourself in.  This is where you lean into your faith and trust in the Lord's promises.  I prayed for you today and this song from Hillsong UNITED (below) came to mind as well as a recent sermon from Voddie Baucham titled, Christ the rock that quenched the thirst of God’s people in the desert. I pray you meditate on them and embrace the love of the Lord and being a light unto the world.



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Thanks CL....Joel Osteen opening to the CD...we know you are seeking GOD for your problems otherwise you would not be listening to this...GOD has you in the Palm of his hand

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4ever..no access...my wife wants me to let her stay in our house I pay the mortgage and for the future..."in a few years we might connect but if you meet somebody great if I meet somebody great"..I asked for her commitment to not bring another man into our house and she will not do it....no matter how hard I try to convince myself to let it happen my heart tells me I should not accept the hurt of paying for another man to sleep with my wife in our bed in the home I worked so hard to improve...probably taking years of health away in the process...I dont hear GOD telling me to make it easier for my wife to repay me in adultery....I just dont feel him telling me to do it

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and calleth the things that are not, as though they were. Lord my family he restored in your name...I pray you cast out my lust I pray you heal my wifes heart I pray you cast away people in our lives that do not exult you I pray you will light the path to my family's restoration In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit Amem Amen Amen

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Skiingco, This web address is a modified version of the full sermon. It is free. So you don't have internet access?


Also, your brain wants to run away with the possibilities of what your wife will do with another man in the home you built with/for her??


Here are two lessons i have had to learn:


1. It does NOT NOT NOT matter what a person says... but what they do. People say all kinds of things that they don't bring to reality. For example, my ex and his crooked, bitter attorney said some seriously scary horrible no good things as we were going through the divorce. I just kept giving it to God and committing my way to him and NONE - not one- of the threats they made came to pass! In fact one night when I went to the prayer chapel I was prompted to pray for my ex's attorney. Boy, I sure DID NOT want to do that!! But I took a deep breath and began praying whatever came to me to pray. After about thirty minutes when i couldn't think of anything else, I stopped. Five days later the attorney had an emergency cardiac event and instead of dying he lived and was able to get emergency surgery. God's mercy!! It threw our proceedings off about two months but I think it also helped me in the long run.  So it matters not what your wife says but how YOU trust God to protect and shield her.


2. When we give all that we have- as unto the Lord - just like Abraham did when he offered Issac on the altar... when we give up our rights to what we have worked for, what we deserve... GOD Himself steps in to defend, protect and preserve. If you would honor God by providing for your wife by allowing her to have the home with absolutely no strings... you would be making a HUGE sacrifice... a laying down of your pride, your work, your good name, your history, etc. etc.. a laying down of your life just as Christ laid down His life for you!- You would be preferring her and don't think for a moment that God would not totally honor that. The trick is, that you have to trust God in this season. Really trust Him to be who He says He is, to do what He says He will do. If you just blindly turn over the home and don't pray and trust, then there might be a different result.


"no matter how hard I try to convince myself to let it happen my heart tells me I should not accept the hurt of paying for another man to sleep with my wife in our bed in the home I worked so hard to improve...probably taking years of health away in the process...I dont hear GOD telling me to make it easier for my wife to repay me in adultery..."


You are letting your imagination of what might happen run away with you and then trying to stop it using religious excuses. You should learn this acronym:  QTIP




You are not responsible for your wife's choices while you are separate. You are not responsible for her relationships while you are separated, divorcing or divorced. And God can redeem anything at any time... He's looking for your investment in this process.. which is total sacrificial love!


IF your wife began another relationship during the time she was in your home, it would have nothing to do with repaying you. It would have nothing to do with you, period. And No one, not your wife, not another man, no one... can take away years of your health unless you allow it with unbelieving attitudes of fear, resentment or bitterness.

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4ever....scary times....thank you for scoping the work that lies ahead....need GOD to grant me courage and grace to go through with it and will pray accordingly

Skiingco, yes there will be fear, but remember your heavenly Father whose perfect love casts out fear.  He will fulfill his promises.  You are his precious son.  Remember to put on the full armor of God and lean not on your own understanding.  You have the God of the universe on your side who can move mountains.  His divine strength is like no other.


Lord I invite your Holy Spirit to be present right now and that Skiingco is able to feel your peace that passes all understanding.  He loves you Lord and I pray you guard his path so that he drawers nearer to you.



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Amen....Joel confirmed another alumnus had to pay for his house while wife had a young bum living with her...they never divorced but took 2.5 yrs..she ended up moving out of house and moving away before returning and reconciling...he spoke on a mens call and hoping I can get Joel to have him talk again

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In you, LORD, I take refuge;a

let me never be put to shame.

In your righteousness deliver me;

incline your ear to me;

make haste to rescue me!

Be my rock of refuge,

a stronghold to save me.

For you are my rock and my fortress;b

for your name’s sake lead me and guide me.

Free me from the net they have set for me, for you are my refuge.

*Into your hands I commend my spirit;c

you will redeem me, LORD, God of truth.

You hate those who serve worthless idols,

but I trust in the LORD.

I will rejoice and be glad in your mercy,

once you have seen my misery,

[and] gotten to know the distress of my soul.

You will not abandon me into enemy hands,

but will set my feet in a free and open space.

Be gracious to me, LORD, for I am in distress;

affliction is wearing down my eyes,

my throat and my insides.

My life is worn out by sorrow,

and my years by sighing.

My strength fails in my affliction;

my bones are wearing down.e

To all my foes I am a thing of scorn,

and especially to my neighbors

a horror to my friends.

When they see me in public,

they quickly shy away.f

I am forgotten, out of mind like the dead;

I am like a worn-out tool.*

I hear the whispers of the crowd;

terrors are all around me.*

They conspire together against me;

they plot to take my life.

But I trust in you, LORD;

I say, “You are my God.”

My destiny is in your hands;

rescue me from my enemies,

from the hands of my pursuers.

Let your face shine on your servant;h

save me in your mercy.

Do not let me be put to shame,

for I have called to you, LORD.

Put the wicked to shame;

reduce them to silence in Sheol.

Strike dumb their lying lips,

which speak arrogantly against the righteous

in contempt and scorn.

How great is your goodness, Lord,

stored up for those who fear you.

You display it for those who trust you,

in the sight of the children of Adam.

You hide them in the shelter of your presence,

safe from scheming enemies.

You conceal them in your tent,

away from the strife of tongues.j

Blessed be the LORD,

marvelously he showed to me

his mercy in a fortified city.

Though I had said in my alarm,

“I am cut off from your eyes.”

Yet you heard my voice, my cry for mercy,

when I pleaded with you for help.

Love the LORD, all you who are faithful to him.

The LORD protects the loyal,

but repays the arrogant in full.

Be strong and take heart,

all who hope in the LORD

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Skiingco, I read this today and thought of you...


   From: Journey to Surrender Faith, Hope & Love - Part 3 - Hope for Your Marriage

True hope is the confident expectation that God will move on your behalf in order to satisfy heart's desires, rescue you from difficulty or guide you to fulfill your destiny.

Today we move from Faith to Hope, the second part of the trilogy of 1 Corinthians 13:13
Now faith, Hope and love abide, these three, but the greatest is love.
(In case you missed them, here are my first two posts in this series: "Faith in Your Spouse" and "Faith In Your Marriage.")

Faith and hope are inextricably linked. Faith gives legs to our hopes.

Here is how faith and hope are linked Hebrews:
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV
Faith gives legs to our hopes.

What is Hope?

Sometimes we cheapen hope by equating it with wishful thinking. "I hope it doesn't rain today." Even a nice sentiment such as "I hope my marriage gets back on track" doesn't really ring with the kind of hope we have in God.

Hope, as we understand it from a biblical perspective, is altogether different that wishful thinking. True hope is the confident expectation that God will move on your behalf in order to satisfy your heart's desires, rescue you from difficulty or guide you to fulfill your destiny.

When we lose hope, it's usually because we don't really trust in the goodness and faithfulness of God. When circumstances press against us and our reality doesn't appear to line up with the truth of who God is, hope can be elusive.

When we lose hope, we begin to doubt.  Does God really have my back? Does God actually work all things for good? Is it true that He will never leave us of forsake us? When we lose hope it makes us heartsick (Prov 13:12).

Never this heartsickness more true than when you lose hope in your marriage.

Restoring Hope in Your Marriage

As I alluded to in my recent post "Renew Your Dreams", there are no magic formulas for restoring lost hope in your marriage. Whatever has led you to such a dark and despondent place is more than likely a path filled with hurt, disappointment and strife, maybe over many years.

As justified as you might be to feel as you do, I implore you not to remain stuck in hopelessness. Don't resign yourself to live in the marriage you have today. And please, please don't head for the exit!

We have this promise from Romans:
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:5
The strength you need to sustain your marriage in hard times is found in the love of God, poured into your by the empowering work of the Holy Spirit.  Paul Miller, in his book A Praying Life, describes his own battle with hopelessness, which he describes as cycnicism, this way:

"Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the Shepherd. Cynicism feels more like bondage to me now. Jesus sets me free to love by showing me the dark, self-serving agenda I cling to in my cynicism. I am well aware that the journey is far from over, but I am learning to live in hope. I just need more practice. The Shepherd’s presence in the dark valley is so immediate, so powerful, that cynicism simply vanishes. There is no room for an ironic disengagement when you are fighting for your life. As you cling to the Shepherd, the fog of cynicism lifts."

Cling to the Shepherd

If you feel your marriage on its deathbed, or in "in the valley of the shadow of death" as Psalm 23 describes it, fix your eyes on the Good Shepherd. He has a table set before you in this very season.

I love how beautifully The Passion Translation casts fresh, life-giving light on the very familiar 23rd Psalm.

1  The Lord is my Fierce Protector and my Pastor.
    I always have more than enough.
2  He offers a resting place for me In his luxurious love.
    His tracks take me to an oasis of peace,
    The quiet brook of bliss.
3  That’s where he restores and revives my life.
    He opens before me pathways to God’s pleasure,
    And leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness,
    So that I can bring honor to his name.
4  Lord, even when your path takes me through
    The valley of deepest darkness
    Fear will never conquer me, for you already have!
    You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.
    Your authority is my strength and my peace.
    The comfort of your love takes away my fear.
    I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.
5  You become my delicious feast
    Even when my enemies dare to fight.
    You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit; f
    You give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.
6  So why would I fear the future?
    For I’m being pursued only by Your goodness and unfailing love.
    Then afterwards— when my life is through,
    I’ll return to your glorious presence
    To be forever with you.
(Psalm 23 TPT)

As we'll explore next time, restoring hope starts with changing your thinking. If you are in a season of struggle, I encourage you to read this Psalm every day. Wash your mind with the truth of it. Pause after each phrase and let your mind and spirit absorb the truth of it.

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Journey to Surrender, 1501 Providence Drive, Lawrenceville, GA 30044, USA 
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You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High,

who abide in the shade of the Almighty,*

Say to the LORD, “My refuge and fortress,

my God in whom I trust.”

He will rescue you from the fowler’s snare, from the destroying plague,

He will shelter you with his pinions,

and under his wings you may take refuge;

his faithfulness is a protecting shield.

You shall not fear the terror of the night

nor the arrow that flies by day,Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness,

nor the plague that ravages at noon.

Though a thousand fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

near you it shall not come.

You need simply watch;

the punishment of the wicked you will see.

Because you have the LORD for your refuge and have made the Most High your stronghold, No evil shall befall you,

no affliction come near your tent.f

*For he commands his angels with regard to you, to guard you wherever you go.h

With their hands they shall support you,

lest you strike your foot against a stone.i

You can tread upon the asp and the viper,

trample the lion and the dragon.

Because he clings to me I will deliver him;

because he knows my name I will set him on high.

He will call upon me and I will answer;l

I will be with him in distress;

I will deliver him and give him honor.

With length of days I will satisfy him,

and fill him with my saving power.

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Lord Be My Shepard, grant me courage, wisdom, patience, in your name I exalt my family is reunited my marriage is restored...please be with my wife in her time of pain

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