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God Save My Marriage

Need advice to win back wife who has left for another man


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She was TRYING with her words to help her head knowedge sinnkinto her heart. She is not strong enough to break the heart's pull from Gordon.

 

Sadly with a relationship like this that started BEFORE she met Taz, she will need to be broken completely wide open by Gordon before she can successfully cut the soul ties from him and return to Taz. (How do I know this? Hmm... Happened to me.)

 

I do believe it will happen, but I wouldn't require Taz to wait for the undetermined day forever. Divorce sets her free on course for Gordon to OWN her wherein he will commence the abuse. Sadly.

 

Alls we can do is pray that she sees it sooner rather than later.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...

It's been over three months since my last posting and a lot has happened.

 

Freej is still with Gordon and they have purchased a house together and have moved from Alabama to Tennessee. Our divorce will most likely be final by the end of the first week of February 2010.

 

Each time I have had contact with freej I have let her know that I still love her and that I don't want this divorce. All she has to do is say the word and we could stop it. But at this point, it looks like the divorce is going to go through and later this year she will marry Gordon.

 

I am so thankful that I was directed to this ministry over a year ago. It has helped me to recogize where I have fallen so very short as a husband and the man God wants me to be and has provided the tools to turn that around and become a great husband and man of God. Unfortunately, I never had the chance to spend enough time with freej after our intensive to show her what a great husband I could be for her.

 

Now, I will be continuing on this life long journey to continue to die to myself and become more Christlike. I don't know what He has for me in the future but whatever He does have, I'll be prepared to receive it.

 

Even though this has been the most emotional and stressful years of my life, I still praise and thank God for the growth He has walked me through. I am a stronger and better man for having experienced what I have gone through. I will continue to pray for freej, that one day soon, she will realize that she will only find her true freedom in Christ, who is waiting for her to come back to Him with open arms.

 

The other news is that I have been called to active duty in the Army and will be deploying to Kuwait on May 8th for approximately one year. I leave on March 5th for five weeks of stateside training and then I'll be back home for 3 1/2 weeks before I depart for overseas.

 

My daughter and granddaughter are moving into our home to take care of things while I am gone. She is a pediatric nurse at a local hospital and this arrangement will help her to save some money to help her with her future plans.

 

My church family has been extremely supportive, especially this past year. And now with my deployment, they have really blessed me. While I'm gone, many men and women have come forward to offer their assistance to my daughter. One man, who has his own home building business, met my daughter and I and told her that while I'm gone, if anything happens at the house that needs repaired, just call him and it will be taken care of. I have had numerous other offers of help from other church members, the pastor and his wife, family, and friends from work. My job is secure and my manager made sure that I know that I'll have a position to come back to. So, I know that when I leave, everything here at home will be well taken care of.

 

I'm actually looking forward to going overseas as I feel that God is preparing to use me in a special way to minister to people there. I don't know what type of internet connectivity I will have once I arrive in Kuwait, but I'll do my best to post from time to time while I am there.

 

This has been a tough time in freej and my life. I ask that as God brings us to your memory, that you would pray for us. For freej that she would truly become free in Jesus Christ and that she would be safe. And for me, for safety and many opportuinties to share the love of Jesus while I am deployed.

 

Thank you so much for all the time and effort all of you on this forum have poured into our lives. God will richly reward you!

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Hey Taz,

 

Glad to here how you are doing. I am sorry that freej is still running from GOD. It is truly sad. She is really stuck. I am very happy for you, that you are continuing on GOD's path. Keep your head down over there in the middle east. I have had many family members serve over there, praise GOD they have all made it home. Will pray that you will return safely.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

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Hey, my friend,

 

You know I'm still praying for you both. You have done everything you could do - unfortunately your wife has made her choices. I am proud of how you've handled this - you have pressed into God and done the best you could in the circumstances.

 

Make sure your daughter has my phone number in case she needs anything.

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Taz,

 

Please stay safe over there. We will continue to pray for God's protection for you...and we will continue to pray for your wife and family.

 

Divorce is just a piece of paper, and I know firsthand that the bond to your spouse is not broken until God says it is broken. I will pray that your wife's heart will at some point open back up to God, and eventually to you.

 

I'm actually looking forward to going overseas as I feel that God is preparing to use me in a special way to minister to people there. I don't know what type of internet connectivity I will have once I arrive in Kuwait, but I'll do my best to post from time to time while I am there.

 

God is so good! Imagine how ill prepared you would have been to minister to others before you began this journey! You are a different person now, with a completely different perspective, and I pray that God is able to use you in His way.

 

take Care,

Julie

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thank you for staying in touch with us.

 

I know that God will bless you richly. What HE has in store for you will be MUCH greater than what you might have thought you could have/affect with freej.

 

It is so hard to trust in God until have have no other choice. But I believe that he has BIG things in store for you as you walk towards Him.

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Thank you for the update! You and freej remain in our prayers. God bless you in this new chapter of your life. I know He has good things in store for you!!

 

One of my main prayers for freej has been that she would experience G's abuse before she marries him, and get out of there and run to the arms of Jesus (and you). God can do this!!

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Amen to that Miss Jane Bennet,

 

Taz your journey has touched me deeply. i KNOW it has touched you even deeper. You are a fantastic example and living irrefutable Proof, this can be done. Especially in the face of such adversity. Yes you were a jerk to begin with, but somewhere along your life's journey you made right.

 

AND YOU STUCK TO IT. You WILL reap the fruit of your harvest one way or another, if not with freej, who knows, but God's principals of sowing and reaping stay active regardless and God said the righteous man who sins, his good deeds will no longer be remembered and the sinner who repents, his sins will no longer be remembered, Hallelujah!

 

NONE, not even the tiniest tiniest effort of yours done in humility and for your KING can ever be wasted or done in vain.....I salute you.

 

And DONT ever make me eat these words or i'll have to hunt you down.....Of course Looney will probably get to you first!!!!!!

 

Much love in Christ and Grace and Peace be yours in abundance in Jesus mighty name....amen

 

Best regards

Surviving

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Taz,

 

Thank you for being a MAN. I know God will honor you and exalt you in the land of promise. I know He will show you great favor wherever you go. He will surround you...going out before you...leading your way...like a King and Warrior dressed in mighty array...He will too be your rear guard and watch your back.

 

Hold fast...even as Paul told Timothy...to those prophetic words God has spoken..stir up the gifts within you. God has a great purpose for you and now you can know it because now you see it is His greatness that bent down to rescue you. God still has His ear to your mouth...speak truth and walk in it.

 

 

 

2 Chronicles 16:9a

 

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.

 

 

I have said from the beginning Taz God has put you on my heart...yes, it is true that I have a heartcry for all here...but there are certain ones...God whispers....watch...watch what I will do. I join with Father in agreement with His heart toward you.

 

Kimberly

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Thank you for your words of encouragement Kimberly.

 

February 3rd was freej's and my 14th wedding anniversary and it was a tough day for me. I sent her a card just to let her know that even though the divorce will be final in the next day or two, I still love her and am saddened by the fact we are not together.

 

I don't know what the future holds but as long as I am going into that future with Jesus leading me, I know that I am going to be all right!

 

Thanks to all for your continued prayers.

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Hi Taz,

 

I joined this forum back in October 2009, and now am trusting that God will touch my husband and inspire him to grow and follow Christ as you are doing. He is Romans 12:2 (his thread looks ugly right now, we are struggling!).

 

Looney and Eeyore are my special friends (this is gracious and wonderful that they have taken me under their helper wings) and Looney told me to check out your thread.

 

H and I are in NW Alabama/Shoals area so we are proud to know you and not surprised about the support you are receiving from your church family.

 

I have had two of my sons-in-law deployed since 2003...one spent 18 months in Kuwait then Green-zone in Bagdhad, then Afghanistan for 12 months. He is deploying again to we don't know where yet ( he is abusive to my oldest daughter--they are on again/ off again but he almost mortally wounded her a year ago.) He is a porn/sex addict who needs to be saved.

 

Second son-in-law has been in Afghanistan since last summer, don't know when he returns. Both are now active Army, first son's deployment in 2003 was Reserves.

 

I come into agreement in Jesus' name about you having a calling to serve Him where you will be stationed...I was thinking maybe we could all get together and send J&K books and DVD's to you after you get situated, to give to others who need them?

 

If your daughter has a need, she could call Looney, who can call me and we'll be there in a couple of hours to help with anything y'all need, OK?

 

Blessings to you...and I am already praying for your deployment brother.

 

Aspiewife/Sharon

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Aspiewife/Sharon,

 

Thanks for your encouragement and that's a great idea. Once I get in country I will hopefully be able to get in touch with a chaplain there and see what programs they have going on to help strengthen marriages while soldiers are deployed. I'm sure there will be opportunities to get some materials into the hands of who will need them. I'll contact Looney if I find I am allowed to distribute material.

 

I appreciate your offer to help my daughter out while I am gone. Thank you!

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I got home from my army reserve meeting today and found the final divorce decree document in my mailbox. Ironically it was dated for the day after our anniversary.

 

Even though I knew that this was coming, it still brought tears to my eyes as I looked at that document which said our marriage was over. A whole lot of emotion flooded through me of great saddness at the loss of my wife and all the hopes and dreams we had talked about. I also felt so bad that I never had the opportunity to put into practice what I have learned this past year in being a great husband to her.

 

For now I just have to press in even more to the Lord.

 

The chorus of an old hymm we used to sing came to my mind the other day:

 

"Turn you eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of this earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His mercy and Grace."

 

What a comfort to know that I am receiving His unmerited favor in my life and that He understands what I am going through and he will be there with me all the way through to the other side.

 

Praise His Name!!!!

 

Now I will continue to pray that God directs people and circumstances into her path to remind her that Jesus is waiting for her to return to Him. That it's not to late, that He loves her unconditionally, and He will help restore her into a right relationship with Him.

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Even though I knew that this was coming, it still brought tears to my eyes as I looked at that document which said our marriage was over. A whole lot of emotion flooded through me of great saddness at the loss of my wife and all the hopes and dreams we had talked about. I also felt so bad that I never had the opportunity to put into practice what I have learned this past year in being a great husband to her.

 

In the human realm, it is a landmark and the document brings with it a time stamp to engage your emotions. But God is timeless. He knows your heart and he knows the truth behind this document. It might be needed for Gordon to do the very thing he needs to shock Margie into reality, or, it might be God nudging you into the next chapter of abundant living. Either way, praise God and trust that he is working out great things for those who LOVE HIM... in His time. HE LOVES YOU!

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Thanks Dory,

 

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." NKJV

 

I don't know the details of what lies ahead for me, but I do know who is leading me and I trust Him implicitly. I don't understand why everything has happened the way is has, but I know that He has everything under control. So, I am standing on God's word as I confidently expect to see His blessings being poured out into my life. Whatever is coming, it's going to be GREAT!

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Whatever is coming, it's going to be GREAT!

 

Amen!!! You are an inspiration to all men on this forum. Your goal is to become Christ-like... not just for your wife, but for your LIFE!! God will bless your efforts, and He will not forget you!!

 

Praying that you are kept safe in His arms, no matter where you are!!

 

Sorry to hear about the divorce papers. But now you can focus on what God has next for you. Being in "limbo" is a very painful place! We will continue to pray for Freej and that she finds truth in the midst of the lies that she is trapped in. And we will pray for you and your continued growth.

 

Thanks for keeping us updated on your story, and for continuing to be a source of strength to all who read it!!

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  • 1 month later...

Hey everyone, just a quick update on what's been going on. I'm in Atlanta now for the first phase (which is finishing up today) of my pre-deployment training.

 

The Army bought the soldier's families in this weekend (from all over the country) to go over the details of the deployment and to connect them with all the services that are available to them while we are deployed. I was amazed at how much is available, from subsidized day care, camps for kids, tuition assistance for spouses, professional financial counselling, professional family and marriage counselling, and so much more. All free of charge to the military family members.

 

I was a bit saddened by the fact that I had no one here but I encouraged myself by reminding myself that Christ is with me!

 

Today we move to Birmingham, AL, for our next phase of training and then it will be off to New Jersey for 3 weeks of field training (weapons systems, medical, chemical, etc.).

 

No change with Margie, the last communication I had with her she said that things were not going well but that her job was to stand by her man and do what God wants her to do and that if he did not do what he was suppose to do, then he would need to answer to God. Not really sure what all that is supposed to mean but, all I can do is continue to pray for her to be freed from the trap of deception she is in.

 

I ask for your continued prayers as I continue to work on my relationship with the Lord to become more Christ like. I can tell you that it is definitely a challenge in the military environment. But I want more than anything to be everything that God wants me to be which can sometimes be tough going. BUT, the Word says He is with us, and I'm holding fast to that promise.

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she said that things were not going well but that her job was to stand by her man and do what God wants her to do and that if he did not do what he was suppose to do, then he would need to answer to God.

 

Taz, this sentence makes me want to cry, and to puke!! You are her man, the one that God gave to her. The fact that she is willing to "stand by" this guy, even when he is not doing "what he was supposed to do", when she is clearly not following God, makes my head spin.

 

I am sorry that she still has not seen the truth here. I will continue to pray that God reaches her. And I will continue to pray for you... for your safety, for your strength, etc. Yes, continue to hold fast to God's promises, they do not return void.

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Taz, Romans 12:2 may be planning to attend this Tuesday's meeting. I think he'd be coming from northwest Alabama (Ft. Oglethorpe).

 

see Roman's post on Undying Trust's thread:

http://www.joelandkathy.com/boards/viewtopic.php?t=3416&start=30

 

For Him for Her and Undying Trust lead this group of men. JDI and I plan to attend.

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