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God Save My Marriage

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Great post, Looney and congrats Ed on the proper thought processes that you are processing and sharing here.

 

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted. My wife and I were out of town for 5 days last week, so this week is "catch up."

 

We're trying to follow our schedule of listening to the phone calls on Monday & Thursday nights and working through the J&K DVDs again on Tuesday nights.

 

Probably my biggest struggle is listening and knowing what I should do, then not doing it or reverting back to the old ways of blaming, defending, and getting angry. There is no doubt I realize those are wrong, but habits of almost 60-years are firmly engrained. I think one key is catching that trigger point at the beginning and stopping it then. One of the phone call moderators said to "Resist the resistance." Good thought.

 

I'm also reading through Paul Hegstrom's anger book. I've in the chapter now, "The Reactive Lifestyle." One BIG AH-HA moment hit me this AM when I was reading. He said (paraphrasing) we try to control people and circumstances because we lack self-control. WOW! That's a big one. On the way to the office I expanded that one step further to say, "I lack Spirit-control of myself." A couple other nuggets in that chapter were: (1) Anger never exists in a vacuum; and (2) when we get into the self-centered, self-protection mode, we blot out emotional responses and relationships. Things I know in my head, but things I need to get to my heart!

 

So. . .big stuff to ponder. . . but good stuff!!

Edited by Mr. Ed
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