Up and down, up and down

[Looney_Tunes]

It sounds reasonable, Tig.

 

I totally get the fact that Pooh needs to initiate reading the forum and getting on the calls - however, he seems to need a jump start. At the moment I think it's more important that he actually read the stuff than HOW he comes to read it. He needs the information/butt kicks that have been posted to him.

 

You will not be able to get him to do anything on his own until you are able to come up with some real, concrete consequences that you know you'll be able to enforce. That's your assignment right now - to come up with some things that he will care about and that you will be able to actually apply.

[MaryJane]

YES.

[Tigger]

Dear Friends, Looney and Mary Jane,

 

Thank you so much for your faithful responses. I have not been able to hook up to the printer; to be able to do that I will probably need his help- POOH that is. SO... I was thinking that maybe I could talk with him tonight and tomorrow while I am gone I can ask him to read his thread here on my laptop. I will be gone with my mom to a specialist and he will be here with the children. He has to get the babies ready and take them to visitation, but he can come back and read for a while.

 

I do have to say though, he has been helping our children to get caught up with school work, over the entire weekend. I had to take a nap today, I just could not go on, and he kept up working with our one son, who is REALLYspecial needs- no attention span @ ALL, and working without any effective medicine right now. I would be really blessed if he continued to do that and maybe I could get it printed out for him to read over the next couple of days.

 

If we can get on the Monday night call, maybe he will be shook up a bit and be interested in trying to read his thread. Does this sound reasonable or am I off base. I am REALLY stressed out about how far the children fell behind while I was sick, having surgery, and going through cancer treatment, so POOH is REALLY blessing me by working to help them get caught up in their school work. I will be sure to tell him tonight how much I appreciate this, Mary Jane. Thank you for your suggestion, I will implement that and I am sure that it will go better.

 

I did leave him a note before I went for my nap, but he totally missed it, so I guess that helps me to realize that just leaving the print out in the car may not work. I will have to work on this plan better. Well it is late so I will close, time to have the kiddos in bed and me too.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

It would make things simpler all the way around if he'd just read the stinkin' forum on the computer, so yes, ask him to do so while you're gone.

 

It's great that he's helping the kids with their school work. Make sure he knows you appreciate it. However, don't let him think he's DONE - he needs to know that there are many more things you need from him if he wants to heal your heart.

 

Sleep tight, my friend, lest you lose your bounce.

[Tigger]

Looney,

 

I am bouncing my way to bed now!! Thanks for those words of encouragement. I ditto them totally. He put on his list, his tomorrow list, to get on the call. Wahoo!! Maybe this will go better then I thought. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope 1SM did a good job at home for you too!! Sleep tight!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

 

PS: If this does not work, do you think it is illegal to ship your cattle prod through the US Postal Service?? You know all that homeland security stuff and all, but maybe I could find one for myself??!! We will have to see how it goes. Tig

[Looney_Tunes]

If he is a list maker, then BLESS TIGGER needs to be in bold at the top of every list!

[Tigger]

Hello,

 

Dory is planning to move my thread, so if it is not here tomorrow you will need to look for me back where I used to be in the Woman whose husbands are working against the marriage.

 

Hopefully we will get to the point where someday we will be moved back. NO NO NO... let me change that... When things improve... we will be moved back over here with all you other lovely couples.

 

We are fast approaching our 2nd year since finding J&K, I sure hope we will soon see things turn around.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

Don't worry, Tig, we'll find you. You can run, but you can't hide . . .

[Tigger]

Looney,

 

No he is not usually a list maker, but maybe that is something that I can instill in the "New" POOH!! It is worth a shot, what do you think??!!

 

Got to go POOH is waiting for me to go upstairs.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

I found this post by Dory in the "favorite posts" section - it's not the whole post, but I think it might help you find some perspective.

 

We can all agree that "God is Love" right? But what is "love"? Rather than the secular-romantic-warm-and-fuzzy type love. "Biblical love" is really more of an all encompassing balance of "mercy, justice, and truth". Many folks don't like the God of the Old Testament because all they see is a vengeful God. Rather, the OT simply shows the "justice" side of God. When man will not turn to him, rest assured justice will prevail to let the sinful reap what was sown. The NT God is a merciful God, showing that he DOES want us to turn back to him and is willing to give up his son in an ultimate act of mercy to help us see his desire for us to be with him for eternity. But yet, in the end, if we do not turn towards him, justice will prevail. And that is truth.

 

So when we are called to "love" our neighbor, we are called to apply "truth, justice, and mercy" in balance. This is why I love this J&K ministry so very much - they DO this "3 fold love" thing almost without realizing it! They ask the wives to deliver justice to the husbands while offering the truth behind what they need for a promise kept on the wedding day. If the wayward husband turns back to the bride and offers her a Biblical marriage and a open and transparent union, then she is required to give him mercy via another chance. If he doesn't do this, then Malachi convicts the husband of the marriage's demise. The wife's job is to speak truth, deliver justice, and offer mercy if he changes. This is Biblical love. This is being a Godly helpmeet.

 

Anything less is not Godly. We need ALL THREE components of "Biblical love" to make it work!

 

And if ONE of these three components to Biblical love is missing, here's what happens....

 

Justice lacking: When we whine and moan without action, we are offering mercy and truth without justice. The mis-balanced result will fall back unto us and we will be treated UN-justly, i.e. "villified or abused".

 

Mercy-lacking: When we speak up and then divorce without a chance for reconciliation, we are offering truth and justice without mercy. This misbalanced result will fall back unto us as becoming UN-merciful or "bitter".

 

Truth lacking: When we kick them out and then let them back in without requiring change (intensive and proof of clean living), we are offering justice and mercy without truth. This mis-balanced result will fall back unto us in the form of more cyclical sinful living or an UN-truthfilled marriage. A deceitful marriage.

[Tigger]

Hey Friends,

 

 

I wanted to let ya'll know that we got on the call with Dory and Nemo tonight. I have still not printed out the posts; was gone all day with 2 different doctors appointment, then I napped and got up in time to get on the call.

 

I want to stop and give Kudos to POOH. He stayed on top of getting on the call tonight. He made sure that I was awake in time then he kept a count down to 6 PM; I was bidding on curriculum- which was coming to an end, so he let me know the time frame.

 

Now back to what happened with the call. He was defensive of the call, but maybe he is going to understand that this is really important to me. His attitude is still that he has to "create/invent" time to get on the forum. That feels like I am not a priority. That I am just a BIG hassle.

 

His hostility, aggressiveness, and raised voice were noted by Nemo; and it was very mild compared to normal. He does not even see that he is being aggressive, etc. Nemo asked him if he "saw" that he had raised his voice and become combative, his response, even after it is being pointed out to him, was to say that he does not "see" it, he again got uppity!!

 

While Nemo was telling him "yes of course you have to listen to your wife's heart" , POOH was shoving the phone in my face- his way of saying "See, I told you it is all about you telling me what to do". It was aggressive and it was very hurtful; he does not even realize that he just crushed me again!! He can not figure out why I am hurt and why intimacy just does not want to come.

 

GO figure... I don't want to ML because I feel hated by him. He is volatile, hostile, and my perspective, just plain mean. If you have someone yelling at you do you really want to spend time with them ; let alone, especially in an intimate way

 

Here's and idea... treat me with love... then I will feel loved and actually want to be close to you (POOH), then I will want to be intimate, instead of repulsed by by the thought of that or even the 20/20/20 KWIM I think this seems like a good idea to make our marriage grow in the way you want it to grow.

 

Well I need to get off of here, before I start blasting away and crying my heart out , it is hard to be pouring myself out and never knowing if POOH will ever read this and respond.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[MaryJane]

Tigger,

 

I heard the two of you tonight. I'm glad you were able to get on the call.

 

Here's a rough outline of the reasons LO and AC gave my husband on July 16th, for getting on the calls at my request:

 

(We'd had a rough 4 days because I was going WAY out on a limb (doing it afraid), trying to convince my husband to get back on the calls and to do the book reading.)

 

They said, that it was like a security blanket for me, to see that my husband was doing these things. I was the patient in ICU and my husband was giving me the life-giving intravenous solution by getting on the calls. (For me it's the calls and the books. For you it's the forums, for now, right?)

 

Besides that, they said, everyone says the same things in different ways. Some "click" with one couple, some don't. Same with the forums.

 

My husband had said he knew the ministry message and he just wanted to do it himself. That's impossible! There was NO way he could heal my heart from all the past abuses by NOT doing what I NEEDED him to do -- be INVOLVED in the ministry!

 

I hope you'll be able to keep on your husband's case about this, until he really "gets it"! That his involvement on the forums will go a long way to bringing healing to your tender heart!

 

God bless you. Sleep well.

 

MaryJane

[dory]

Imagine all intensive attendees as lumps of coals (not too hard to imagine, eh?)

 

Imagine Joel and Kathy (and God) setting them afire (with renewed passion) at the intensive. The coals burn hot.

 

What happens when you take ONE COAL out of the pile and set it off to the side? It grows cold.

 

THAT'S why we need to stick together and stay a-glow for this new life together! ON THE FORUMS or ON THE CALLS. STAY TOGETHER!

[son-worshipper]

Tigger, are you sure my husband isn't leading a secret second life...as your husband???

[MaryJane]

Wow! I LIKE Dory's analogy. We're all lumps of coal!

 

I think that post should be set aside somewhere -- where everybody can see it.

[Tigger]

SW,

 

That would be quite a commute between places. POOH is away for long trainings today and tomorrow, so have you seen him??

 

The coal analogy is very good, even if it did not come from our resident queen of analogies, Eeyore.

 

I am really not well tonight and I am home alone with the 5 kids tonight. I feel ready to collapse!! Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[pooh]

Tigger hit high fever over 103 yesterday. then she started having a strange pain in her chest. So off to the hospital she went. it turned out to be a kidney stone in her right kidney. It blocked the urine flow and caused the kidney to become infected. the put a stint and catheter in to aid in draining the kidney and stop the infection. She is still running a fever today. pray the the stone will pass with the stint and the infection will be removed from her body. If you remember her going through this last fall you are correct this is the other kidney. We give all praise and glory of her recover to the Lord. God Bless you all and thanks for the prayers. Pooh

 

I have also posted this on the prayer string for tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

Thank you, Pooh, for letting us know. Please tell Tigger we are praying for her.

[dory]

Most Definately! Nemo and I will be praying for her too!

[Tigger]

CC from Prayer Request Page.

 

Hello Forum Family,

 

I am now home from the hospital now, or at least until Friday when I go back to have the stint surgically removed and figure out where we go from here. Still in an incredible amount of pain, dizzy/light headed- I fell while in the hospital. I know I will come through this too, I am just so worn down.

 

POOH had to leave this morning for Eastern Washington, so I am home on my own. I was not real functional, but Emmy the young Mother's helper who has been helping me since my diagnosis with cancer was here today for a while and my mom came up to make sure the children will get their dinner and get to bed.

 

I am at a total loss and feel like I have already been running on empty for too long. This has truly zapped what ever energy I had down to nothing. I make it to the toilet, but that is all.

 

Thank you for your prayers, I know I would not be making it without all of you!! Your prayers are appreciated.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger, without the bounce.

[Looney_Tunes]

Aww, Tiggy, I'm sorry you are not feeling bouncy. I'm glad you posted. I've been wondering how you're doing. I've wanted to call, but haven't wanted to bother you.

 

Praying that your bounce will return quickly.

 

Love ya!

Loon

[Jan]

Oh Tig, so sorry you are having one health issue after another. Like the tumor wasn't enough! I'll bet it did suck all the life out of you! Praying for you.

You know I was reading about Pooh doing great and then getting the hostile tone in his voice and not recognizing it over the phone call last week. I have a 16 year old and an 11 year old like that. They get very hostile when they don't like something they hear either-you know, like put your clothes away, tv time up, etc. It sounds like exactly the same conversation I have with them only about being respectful children. The same thing when they verbally assault each other. Since they are so clueless about their hostile and disrespectful tone of voice, i think I am going to get a small tape recorder, or mp3 player...whatever they have available today fairly inexpensive, and record the next time it starts and play it back to them so they can hear themselves.

I will let you know if it helps!

In His Love,

[Tigger]

CC From PRAYER REQUEST PAGE,

 

Eeyore,

 

POOH is away for work, yes. There are a few things that someone at work did not get done and they had to be done before next week's federal inspection... or else. He said he would take off for me, but I am concerned about him losing his job. This really came down to me deciding and he worked with that. His preference is to be home with me and the children. If this were not soooooooooooooooooooo important, that would have been fine. He is not just out hunting or something for fun, this is work.

 

He will be back the end of this week, so it could be worse. I go for surgery again on Friday, so hopefully he can make it back in time for that; I would prefer not to face this alone.

 

As for living to bless me... that is hard to answer. He got me home and settled and let me rest, so that is excellent. He worked with the children on their school work, which is also excellent. He just kept "checking" on me, which should be a 'good' thing, but not when you just want to be left alone. If I did not respond then, he had his nose out of joint. I am really tired so I should not be commenting. He is trying, I guess in his own way, but that is the POINT, it is always in "HIS" way not in the ways of the Father GOD. Well I need sleep, so thank you!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

No, Tigger dear, he is not trying. He is blessing you in HIS way and in HIS timing, whether you like it or not, which is him trying to stay in control.

 

If he needs to get his nose out of joint, I can help him with that while you get some rest.

[Tigger]

To all my forum family,

 

YUP!! It is me back asking for prayer. The need I have right now is that I will be going into have my next surgery tomorrow, Friday, 21 August 2009 @ 8:45 West Coast time. They are hoping the infection has cleared enough and that when they remove the stent that the stone will come out with the stent. If that does not happen, then we will have to figure out what the next step is to be, to get this resolved. So here is the nutshell of the request:

1) The infection is cleared up sufficiently that it will be "safe" to remove the stent;

2) That the stent will come out without any complications, this presently is a large concern;

3) That upon removing the stent that the kidney stone will also descend and be gone;

4) That my body will finish the complete healing that GOD has begun in me.

 

We are believing for a full recovery. Thank you dear praying saints for your constant love and support.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

 

PS: I KNOW that I serve an awesome GOD!! satan does not want me to get back up and keep praising GOD, but HA, I keep doing it; he can't keep me down. Tig