Up and down, up and down

[Looney_Tunes]

Tigger, my email is in this post http://www.joelandkathy.com/boards/viewtopic.php?t=2579&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=60

 

How are you doing today? Is Pooh blessing you?

 

Eeyore and I have spent the last couple of days getting her house ready for a party - there are Christmas lights everywhere! I'd love to send you some pictures. We talked and laughed and wished you were with us. She and I are both frustrated that we can't just come and get you.

 

We love you!

[son-worshipper]

Were you able to go on the trip to tag your tree Sunday? It sounds like it would be a lot of fun for the children.

 

Do you tag it, but cut it later?

 

I love the smell of a fresh cut tree. I was reminded of that this week. There was a work crew cutting a timber stand near the school. The smell of pine was in the air. mmmmm My little children enjoyed watching the process.

 

Does Pooh have a computer downstairs so you can communicate with him by e-mail? That would be better than trying to yell for him or the children. Could you stand being moved downstairs? ...to a recliner for a few hours? I hate to think of you upstairs cut off from life. I experienced that once and it is a very isolating and depressing. Some personality types could do OK in those circumstances, but not me....and not you.

 

Do you have a baby monitor (video) you could use to keep an eye on the family? ...or they on you?

 

...trying to think of ways for you to be more connected to your family.

 

Have a blessed day Tigger!

[Miss Elizabeth]

Precious Tigger,

 

So awesome to hear you on the call last night. I know how difficult it is to talk when intubated. Bless your heart.

 

I was thinking that if you're on Facebook perhaps you could participate on the calls that way. A chat you know. For instance, when a couple is moderating, you could 'speak' and ask questions through a chat with the wife and she could relay what you're saying to her husband who could be talking with Pooh. It's not exactly real time but pretty darn close.

 

Would it be alright to have your mailing address?

 

Miss Elizabeth

[Looney_Tunes]

Would it be alright to have your mailing address?

 

I was going to ask that as well.

 

And Facebook is a great idea - if you're not already on, please join! We can still send pm's on Facebook, so you could share your address with whomever you want to have it without putting it out there for all to see.

[Sister B]

Tigger . . . I am so sorry to hear what all is going on in your life! I wish I could get down there!! I have not been able to stay caught up with everyone. ARGH! I am working every day until the 21st . . . then we're off for two weeks. I will try to see if I can get away though my boys will be with me! Where are you again?

 

Facebook is a GREAT idea!

 

love and prayers sister . . .

[Looney_Tunes]

OK, Tiggy, we are bringing the party to your thread!

 

We are reserving you a luxurious room in our castle. Toddler men will be banished to an outbuilding until they grow up. I hope you like dogs. We'll have plenty of chocolate (and wine, for those of us who can drink it, but I'm guessing you can't.) There will be wide hallways and elevators so you can go wherever your little heart desires and you will no longer be alone in your room. Since we will have 20 million dollars, we will hire the best OT and PT people we can find to help you. Come live with us!

[Miss Elizabeth]

AMEN!

 

And...a personal chef, hair dresser, makeup artist and masseuse! With 20 million....I mean 40 million....we could do it!

 

[Tigger]

My beautiful women friends,

 

I am broken and destroyed right now, see POOH's thread if you wish to know more.

 

Because of our protection program I can not do face book, not that it really seems to matter now with POOH showing his true colors.

 

I would love to come meet you all and enjoy spending the 60 million dollars; one catch, I do not want to lose my children though!! Got to go be a GODly girl.

 

I love you all thanks for the cheer up.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

Tigger, I am SO sorry! Pooh needs to go live with 1SM - they are cut from the same cloth, and they can live separately together and be very happy with each other.

 

There HAS to be some way for you to function without Pooh. He needs to get gone. He's convinced you can't ask him to move out because you can't function without him. You can. If he fell over dead of a heart attack tomorrow (not that I'm wishing it on him), you would find a way to survive.

 

You don't deserve this.

[Pure in Heart]

Tigger,

 

pooh needs to leave...shut him out..this is not a man who loves you, his children or God...I am so sorry. I can not fathom Tigger what you must be feeling. If he is overwhelmed, he COULD call Joel..he COULD post, he initiate speaking up on the call and say HELP, I need help. No, instead he pretends he is listening and agrees then he doesn't do it because he knws darn well you are to weak to put the screws to him.

 

Can you call your and his parents? Let his parents know what he is doing to you...tell your Pastor...start to expose him Tigger.

 

Is there any family there to help you? Anyone?

 

Please call your local disability office and see what kind of help you can get because you are alone with children because your husband ABANDONED YOU in your darkest hours.

 

Call your CHurch and see if there is support there.

 

Call your Doctor and see if you can get a visiting nurse to come.

 

Send Joel and Kathy an e-mail.

 

This is so wrong Tigger...on every conceivable level pooh is choosing to wound you.....I will abuse you by doing NOTHING"...that is his mantra and we all know it.

 

PIH

[son-worshipper]

Do you know where you'd apply for a personal care assistant?

 

I sorry don't know enough details to help you further. I know many people in Lyme forums qualify for this help ...through disability(?)...this would help you, even if it's just a temporary service.

[HisChild]

My heart goes out to you, Tig!

Praying that doors will be opened and a way will be made for you!

Our God is a good God. He is FOR you and HAS made a way for you.

You are His beautiful, cherished Daughter. You are tattooed on the palm of His hand and cannot be removed from His grasp. Peace, strength and life are yours.

Love you,

Nancy

[faithworks]

Wanting to add my support and aggreement to what the others have said. Check into what kind of help you can get to be independent of him and send him packing!!! You'll be able to rest with him gone and do some healing and gain some strength. And he needs to get thrown out on EAR!!! (or other parts of anatomy!)

[Tigger]

Dear Ladies,

 

Thanks for your offers of help. I have a visiting nurse come twice a week, at least until the end of this month. She just does my vitals and med check, that kind of thing. The bath aide is here 2 times a week too, but she is only here long enough for the shower. Each therapy comes in twice a week, but again only for their "thing". I have just learned that the Speech person was let go, so now I have NO speech- the thing I need most. All these services are only until the end of December when I lose my medical coverage.

 

I will try to respond to some of the comments. His mother is dead and quite frankly, if she was alive she would not care how he was treating me. His father is, well I can not think of an adequate description, but he never had a back bone in his marriage and family, he surly would not do anything to help me; not to mention he is in Ohio. My parents live close by and help alot already. They can not handle much more; they already ride us so hard that the children do not want them to come up here to "help". So no concern or understanding there.

 

I live far from town, nothing in walking distance and we are having snow now anyway. No one lives close to us, no neighbors; which is something I usually like. I have been being blessed by church. They and some local friends have been coming daily to help me and the children during the day; Monday through Thursday. I do not think the pastor of our former church would think anything too much of the "things" that I am upset about; he is the mans man kind of guy. I have not found support for J&K out here, except in Roger and Shari, who are about 3 hours away, but who seem to have disappeared from the ministry.

 

I have no idea what a local disability office would be, I'd have to have some idea what you are even talking about to be able to look them up in the phone book. I also have the minor problem of not being able to talk. I know these all sound like excuses, and maybe they are; I am just throwing out what comes to mind.

 

The doctors office has hooked me up with all they think I need, through the home health. I wish I had a counselor or someone to talk to; even my best friend has deserted me. I can't really talk much, but e mail works. I am feeling sad. I really wanted him to go away yesterday. He did not try to cuddle last night in bed, which was good. Of course... he did not try to pray with/over me either. He did a 'sort of' apology last night after we went to bed; then he went to sleep and you can guess... what I did and what I didn't do- like sleep.

 

Please bear with me through this next paragraph. I see no point in sending J&K an email. I do not know what that could do. I have tried to get on the calls and have him held accountable. I have to do the calling in and the pursuing getting help and he is always the "Mr. Compliant". What else can J&K do, there is an entire country that separates us. They could talk to him, but if he is going to keep doing the same things, then what is the point??!! Now do not get me wrong here... I know that J&K are wonderful people, and I know they have hearts of gold. This ministry is the best and they have done an awesome job here. It is not them I am questioning, it is POOH.

 

I don't think that anyone else will think that what he is or is not doing is anything to bad; especially in light of ALL that he is having to do/carry. A part of me says "Yes he is having alot to carry", but the rest of me is saying "Yea, now he is getting close to what I have had to do all these years". I do need help with 'things', but life would be so much easier if he (POOH) would let us in, meaning myself and my children.

 

I do not want to make too big of a stink right now, I know that my children are just barely getting on an even surface. Looney has said, as have others, that we want to make it through the holidays. I need to get a bit stronger and make it through Christmas. I have other reasons, which I do not feel like I can discuss this publically, for which I want to have an intact home.

 

Looney,

 

You know I thought the same thing about POOH and 1SM. The sad thing is... I actually think POOH does love me. He has no idea how to open himself up to me, or to anyone. He would never post that he needs help, or speak up on a call, or call Joel- we don't have any of the other male helpers numbers, females for that matter either. I had some, but lost them with the PM system being taken away. I had saved so many nice PM's from folks and now they are all gone. That to me is sad. A few people abused the system and now everyone has to pay. It was a great way to send phone numbers and addresses.

 

SORRY, off topic. Back to where I was. POOH would never reach out for help. He will not even seek help from me and I am suppose to be his helpmeet. For him it is something like being weak or something. I have no idea. He really is not the macho type, he just will not ask for help. He is first in line to help others, but get help, ha!! I NEED help right now and he will not even get back to people when they offer. I guess I am suppose to fend for myself and the children too!! Maybe because that is how he had to grow up, that is how he thinks we should all be; does he not see/sense that this is how he ended up the way he is?? Is this what he wants for our children ??!!??

 

I am sorry to go on and on, I am just venting here I guess. Last night POOH kept saying: "I don't understand". He said it no less then 6 times in about 30 minutes. I try to say that is the point, he does not understand, but then he does not want to understand. He does not understand, but it is all about him. If he does not understand himself, GOD help the rest of us. This is all about him, like everything is.

 

PLease, please do NOT encourage him about the 20/20/20. He is only so glad to kiss and hug, if not smile, but he does not want to do what it takes to have someone, namely me, to want to kiss and hug him. I would say that the only thing he HAS gotten from this ministry is the 20/20/20- minus the smiles .

 

I am really not sure if I am making any kind of sense. I am just typing with feelings. I am hurting, I don't know what else to do about my marriage. I am just "putting in time" right now. What else can I do?? He wants to be here and have all the comforts of home/mommy. He does not want to parent, he is just putting in time too. What am I to do??

 

Any and all help appreciated. Please know just how limited I am. Putting him out would be a burden to me and my children right now, please try to understand that to be true. He is not harming anyone, he is helping, so it is just my heart. I will just need to be quiet and pray for a while.

 

If anyone does know of a way to get through to him, I would love it!! I need Aunt Pitty back, she did some serious but kicking to him and she stayed on him. Of course... he would have to actually read on the forum to get the input.

 

If someone thinks that they could help, please seek Looney for my phone number. POOH is home after 6:30 pacific time. I will also be sending Looney my mailing address. YUP she offered her e mail address to me, so... I am sending her all my stuff. I miss PM's so much for stuff like this.

 

Well I have done another book, or at least another installment in the Saga of POOH and Tigger. Thank you for your love and prayers. I believe that until POOH reaches out for help to Joel or someone- be it on the forum or on a call, then we will stay where we are. It will take him reaching out for help and being held accountable, and him coming back for that accountability for there to be lasting, forever GODly change. This is sad but true. He has to WANT this!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

Tigger, I totally understand where you're at. We are in the same boat as far as our marriages. The only difference is that I don't have the serious health issues you have, and so I don't NEED 1SM. I can function quite well without him, thank you very much, and I realize you can't right now.

 

However, I think the only hope for Pooh is for him to lose everything.

 

So I just want to encourage you to think a little bit . . . what if, God forbid, Pooh didn't make it home one night? You would find ways to survive - you would have to. Just start filing things away in the back of your mind. You need a plan.

 

I understand why you would not feel that emailing J&K would be helpful. Pooh has had tons of help, and he hasn't taken advantage of it. I do believe that Pooh loves you. I believe he want to do this - but as I've said to 1SM, the want to is not bigger than whatever is holding him back.

 

I also understand not wanting the 20/20/20 - it's no fun being hugged by a stranger.

 

I'm glad you're sending me your info. We are going to figure this out, girlfriend - I am something of a bulldog when I have to be (just ask Eeyore!) and there HAS to be some way of getting what you need independent of where Pooh decides to stick his head that day. Since it seems to be firmly up his backside at the moment, we will work around him.

 

I can drive to Washington in 4 days. I might just have to come out there . . . THAT should have Pooh shaking in his shoes! Warming up the cattle prod now . . .

 

[Aslan's Child]

You go, Looney!!!!!! Oh, Tigger, I'm beside myself. I feel like everything I've tried to do to help you and Pooh has not only not helped, but caused you more pain. I am so terribly sorry. Please forgive me. With all my heart, I wish there was something more I could do for you besides pray. I adore you. May God grant you peace that passes all understanding, and open the window you so desperately need.

[Tigger]

Looney, Looney, Looney,

 

I was just writing on your thread while you were here writing on mine. SORRY potty break and was much delayed.

 

Any who you made me smile so hard my face hurt. I think he might take off running if you showed up with cattle prod in hand. He needs someone to spoon feed him and I just can't right now. I need all my energy for getting better, and that is not selfish. I am so tired and in so much pain; yelled at kiddos today, now my throat is really raging. I am so upset to see how little they have been doing of their school work. URGH!!

 

They seem to pick up POOH's worst traits. He is lazy and has always said that he would never get done anything if I was not pushing him. He used to call me his ruder, but now he is just adrift.

 

Well not to take up a bunch of time on the past. I need to look forward to the future. I did e mail you, did you receive it?? Let me know in case it got junked or is floating around cyber space somewhere. Thanks.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

I think he might take off running if you showed up with cattle prod in hand.

 

Wimp. In that case I will be sure to come out there, because if he will not stay and fight for you then he does not deserve to have you.

 

Don't worry about him. Take care of YOU. You are not his mommy, and it's time he learn to sink or swim on his own.

 

Can I make a suggestion? Bring each kid individually up to your room for 30 min or an hour or however long you can tolerate, and have them work on their schoolwork. The other kids can play with the babies. Rinse and repeat. You won't get as much done as if you were healthy, but if you work on the most important stuff it should keep them from getting too far behind. Get a dry erase board so you don't have to talk too much.

 

I think I should pick up Susan on my way and we will both come out there and kick his butt!

[Tigger]

Hey Lil' Sis,

 

How is it going. You snuck in there between when I started my post to Looney and when I finished; a bit of a time delay.

 

Sis,

 

You have done nothing but help. Please do not think that you have caused any more pain. I love that you, Looney too, have gotten on POOH's thread and tried to help. I wish I could get him coming here consistently, then call on all the men, women too I suppose, but especially the men to lay into him. So here is my problem... How do I get him to do that?

 

I need to brain storm this so that Susan and John have what they need on Thursday night. Oh hold on, is this the week you guys aren't going to be on, or is that J&K aren't going to be on after you; I don't know, I am confused. I will still go with you will be there on Thursday night. Like it or not he will be put on the phone for accountability; mainly because I need this!!

 

If we can come up with something, some kind of consequence for him about getting on the forum. He sent me an e mail today and said he would check back frequently throughout the day to see if I needed anything. Tonight he said he had such a busy day that he could not get to the couple of things that I needed him to do. I never e mailed him back, but I have to wonder if he would have gotten back to me.

 

My voice is worse today, so I can't make calls. I have to wonder if GOD is giving me strength to get through this because this is what POOH needs. He needs to have to take care of everything, at least for a while, to come to appreciate all that I do.

 

One thing happened tonight. We got our credit card bill and there is a wrong charge on there. He is going to have to call about it, I can't. He said "How do I do this????????" "I have never done anything like this". Yes I have handled everything for him. He has never refuted a charge, ever. He would rather pay the $75.00 charge then argue over it, that is how he has non-handled it in the past.

 

He also has to take care of re-ordering our 11 1/2 year old son his special diapers; he has health issues and wears diapers all the time. Another story all together. For all these years I have done this too, he does not even know where to find the info. and what the name of the company is. I realize that as a stay at home mom it is usual and customary for me to do this, but... what if I had died??!! How would he be managing??

 

To give him some credit he is trying to figure these things out. He has made a few appointments, since I have come home from the hospital; something he has never done before now. He is helping around the house, but that is normal stuff; at lease IMHO.

 

Well this has gotten long and very interrupted; though some interruptions are sooooo worth it, like cuddling with my babies before they go to bed .

 

Main goal: Find a consequence for POOH if he does not get on the forum for advise and to post.

 

Open to all help!!

 

Love you Looney. Lil' Sis, there just are no words!! Lots of love coming your way. I am heading to try to finish my post to you under adoption. Boy would talking be so much easier. I wanna come to see you!! I could whip out a budget and get your house into shape- baby wise. We could have such fun!! I know your house is awesome, you don't need my help on anything with decorating, we would just babize it- there I go inventing words again .

 

Wishing you all a great night!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Tigger]

Looney,

 

Can I watch?? I want to see you whip him into shape, maybe we could sell tickets . Maybe that is the new business that will get us all the funds we need for our new castle. We could offer the use of you and the cattle prod for all wayward husbands. Hey if the rodeo can get paying patrons, why can't we get some patrons for cattle prodding and branding?? ??

 

You type faster then me and/or you have less distractions. I have to keep going to the potty because I am having a tough time with coughing this evening. I am not suppose to cough because, because of my throat issues. Of course, the coughing makes the other issue I have even worse, so potty breaks are a must or it is a wardrobe change; and that takes much more time and energy, not to mention help. I hate having to explain to my kids why I need new clothes. URGH!!!!

 

Well I guess that is all. I really need to do as I promised to AC last week and finish what I started. I will check back later, though it is getting late for you. If I don't hear more from you, then sweet dreams. Are you sleeping alone or with someone and still alone?? Love you girlfriend.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Looney_Tunes]

Tiggy, I am working right now and it's not busy, so I am spending time on the forum. I will be here till 2:30am eastern time, so we have lots of time to chat!

 

I think having a firm consequence for Pooh is good. He will not change unless his life gets very uncomfortable when he is not doing the right thing. Right now he can trample on your heart or not, and frankly things don't change all that much for him one way or the other.

 

Just make sure that it is something that a) you can actually enforce and that he will care about enough to want to avoid it.

 

And yes, you can watch. We'll put it on video and sell it along with J&K's DVD's - this is what happens when you DON'T follow J&K's teachings!

[Tigger]

Looney,

 

Smiling broadly, but heading to the potty. Still smiling!! Thank you!!

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[MaryJane]

God bless Tigger!

[Tigger]

Sister B,

 

It just hit me that you asked where I was. I am about 2 hours south of Seattle Airport area. It takes me 2 hours to the airport and 3 hours to Seattle Children's Hospital. I am not sure if that is any help. I am straight down the 5 corridor and only a bit off of the highway, but in one of those deserted sections. I am not sure if that helps any. I would love to visit. I know your time off is precious though. I would totally think it was great if you came, and I would expect for you to have your boys along, that would be great. My older boys are 13 and 11 1/2, both with learning and developmental challenges; the 13 year old can usually fake it better, the 11 1/2 boy is just kind of in his own happy world.

 

Any time you think you could get here let me know. Even a short stay would be great!! Hope this finds you well. I actually hope you find this on here, but with no PM's this is hard. I will just trust GOD.

 

BLessings,

 

Tigger

[Guest]

Reading your post made me laugh when you said h had to things he never did before (credit card /diapers). I was upset with my h one night and went to where he was living and brought all of his clothes back home and hung them in closet. He would rather go to 2nd hand store and buy used than come to house and get his(not funny-it really hurt) but the funny part is he had to call his kids to see what size pants he wore. I always bought his clothes before. Men do not appreciate the little things we do but they sure let us know if we don't do something.