Ed and Livia

[Livia]

Joel asked me to post so he can have an update on our stats.........

 

Well Ed has taken back to flirting with prostitues. Very openly, very aggressively. Totally caught up in the rush of doing it.

 

He did not confide this in me, he instead confided it to "broken Arrow" whom he has been mentoring. BA was devasted to hear this and he said you have to tell Livia.........Ed said no........it would hurt her. (he was really protecting himself.)

 

BA couldn't handle the secret of it. He told Tammy and Tammy called Dory.

 

Ed has just (late Sept) came to reallize that the effect of Lupron that he has been on for two years for prostate cancer was wearing off and had lost it effect. He has gained back his testostrone, libido and his desire for prostitues.

 

I e mailed Joel and Kathy and have been asked to get on the call tonight.

 

This is NOT a bump in the road. Ed admits it was the Ole Ed raising from the dead.

 

I told him I have reached the end of my forgiveness rope. He violated our marriage and now our renewal vows. He just needs to go off and die with his whores.

 

I told him I was filing for a divorce to end this marriage. He said, "don't bother , I'll give you a writ of divorce." He is very flippant about the whole thing.

 

I do not feel any obligation to continue in this marriage which is headed back to the ghetto because of Ed.

 

I will be on the call tonight...........If Ed is around I will try to get him on the call also.............but he usually runs off when he's on the hot seat.

[dory]

I moved your PM post to the helpers section

 

http://www.joelandkathy.com/boards/viewtopic.php?p=62005#62005

 

Thanks for posting here too!

 

Ed needs a labotomy right about now - that or gash out BOTH his eyes right about now.

 

"EARTH TO ED" is right!

 

I am so sorry Hon. If were any closer, I'd kick him in the ____ too right about now.

 

So is he PROUD of the fact that the Ol' Ed has risen from the dead?

[Kay]

Livia,

 

Please know how much we all care about you. I'm so sorry that "ole" Ed is coming back, but, remember that God IS bigger than Satan. Hang on to this truth. Just know that we all are here to help you get through this - You're right. It isn't a "bump" - no words can describe the pain that he has once again put you through!

 

Praying for you,

Kay

[PlansForHope]

Dear Livia,

So very sorry that Ed is choosing to get back into his old patterns of behavior! I'll keep you in my prayers! Know that this is such a tough time for you, will pray for him also, that he will wake up and realize what he's doing not only to you but to himself!

Thanks, Kay, for the comment that our God is bigger than Satan! And there's great and awesome power in prayer; I'm sure that everyone here on the forum will be praying for you!

God bless you and surround you with His love, peace, and comfort!

[Sister B]

I'm praying too Liv! Stupid Satan . . . he knows his time is short and he's already a loser and is desperate.

 

Praying the power of God and the blood of His Son over this . . .

[JoelandKathy]

PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:47 pm Post subject: Ed and Livia Reply with quote Edit/Delete this post Delete this post View IP address of poster

Joel when Ed got off the mens call today he said you two had talked about 29 minutes...........patted me on the back and said he was going outside and spread gravel if I didin't object. I had no time to respond as he was already half way out the door of my studio when he said that.

 

Is that the actions of a man who has a heart to heal his wifes heart??????????

 

No.

[dory]

Can you share here Joel more about what WAS discussed?

[Pure in Heart]

Livia,

 

I am so sorry sweetheart for the heartache Ed's behavior is causing you. I am so disappointed right along with you.

 

I just wanted you to know you are in my prayers and thoughts.

 

I believe with all my heart that God can deliver Ed and turn his circumstancces around. I pray for his breakthrough. God is the restorer of the breach. A breach in God's Word can mean not only a break in a wall or fortress but also the power of God to breakthrough enemy lines and bring a victoy....even as in 2 Samuel 5:20...

 

"So David came to Baal-perazim and defeated them there; and he said, "The LORD has broken through my enemies before me like the breakthrough of waters." Therefore * he named * that place Baal-perazim."

 

Whatever stronghold is in his mind is pulled down by the power of God with the weapons are our warfare. I agree with you Livia in prayer for every principality and power to be brought to nought by the Cross. Christ triumphed over satan's bondage and made an open display of his defeat. I plead the blood of the Lamb over any tactic of the enmy to bring Ed down. I bind every enemy that seeks to destroy and steal. In the Mighty Name of Jesus who saves Ed to the uttermost...who sanctifies him by His blood and His Name. Jesus, delivered ALL who are oppressed by the enemy..His Spirit through confession and repentance cleanses Ed from all unrighteousness. I pray he dies to his flesh. That Ed would seek God's face and make a covenant with his eyes to not look upon any vile thing...even as David prayed. I pray God Himself contends against every enmy of this marriage. I declare a re-positioning of Ed's thinking. I declare that he is led by the Spirit and does not fulfill the desires of his flesh. That Jesus Christ delivers him from this body of death and that Ed receives thgis truth.

 

You are such a precious, precious woman. Your compassionate heart and fortitude of faith are inspiring. God has seen all of your trust in Him..He has taken notice of you and His eye is watching over your life. God will perform His Word and watch over it...He will brood and hover over His creation...to bring about the best possible outcome...to perfectly put you in the center of His will. He can WILL IN Ed TO DO His good pleasure. I pray the glory you are as Ed's wife will show forth God's very glory and come to you and you are soaked in God's very own Presence...His goodness to pass before your eyes.

 

This is the prayer of my heart for you and Ed as God's wonderful Spirit helps me pray according to His Word and will. Do not give up hope..God is on the scene..He is always on time..He is never too late. He is a NOW God...He is the great I AM.

 

I love you both and believe God for victory in this situation..

 

In Jesus' love,

Kimberly

[PlansForHope]

Livia,

I'm praying for you today! Don't have any advice to offer other than what the helpers have already given you; just wanted you to know I'm remembering you in prayer today!

God bless your day!

[Livia]

Thank you to all who have responded to my hurts with love and prayers, it means so much to me.

 

This is an amazing outreach ministry of God's love. More than you experience with your own family and church home.

 

I am still living in limbo, the heartache and stress of it has been much. My husband has not chosen to bring healing................he has been very denfensive and self protecting. Detached, ignoring me and avoiding me. He did begin to speak yesterday late afternoon with fear and hesitation. (testing the waters) choosing his words carefully that he not put himself out on limb.

He ?

 

I can't believe it...............I just hit what I thought was the return key and lost two paragraphs.............&*%#*.

 

I will continue shortly.

 

I don't want to say things that are ugly for the sake of "ugly" Only what has meaning to share.

 

 

Thank you agian for your love and prayers...............

 

Livia

[dory]

I don't want to say things that are ugly for the sake of "ugly" Only what has meaning to share.

 

God Bless you for your self-control. But please know that as we bear each others burdens, we also help mend each others wounds. It takes a community to help us on our way. When Jesus commanded Lazarus to be ressurected, yes Ol' Laz had to TAKE THE STEPS, but Jesus also commanded others to help UNBIND HIM. Lazarus couldn't do it on his own, he needed Jesus and he needed others, to come back to life.

[Livia]

thank you Dory and All

 

I am going to come out of this toxic envirorment today and take my granddaughter to brunch and then we are going to do some shopping.

 

She is 16 and quite the little seamstress. She hopes to go into fashion design and is very creative so we will check out the fabric store.

[Pure in Heart]

Livia,

 

I am so sorry sweet woman. Please do not feel bad for needing love and encouragement. Being honest and getting our pain out in honest ways is inspiring and it IS walking in truth. Most people hide their struggles and never receive God's touch in it because of unfounded fears.

 

You have given Ed the best of your youth, your life, your years...he has robbed you and taken your heart and demolished it over and over again. No one is questioning this fact. It is not a small thing in God's eyes. God would NEVER make light of your heart. He is the perfect Husband. He loves you and will never tell you to hold your pain inside. We are His hands and ears...we are His voice to speak love to you and acceptance even of those things that are ugly. The ugly is a part of life. It is the response of your heart to devastating sin. Sin is ugly and the effects are injurious. I am so sorry you are feeling one moment of those terrible effects. You are Accepted in the Beloved...for ever.

 

I continue to stand for your healing, recovery and for Ed's true, Godly sorrow to work repentance.

 

Hugs,

 

Kimberly

[Aslan's Child]

Oh, Livia, I am so very sorry! I just want to strangle Ed! After he sat there with us, on that Marriage Vow Renewal Cruise! You said he's good at show. I was praying that for once, it wasn't show! Ed! How could you!?

[Livia]

Ed is just treading water today..............thinking this will pass as has so many other things.

 

He worked on the property. I went to lunch with my daughter-in-law and granddaughter. Ed came in when I came home........took a shower..........watched the news .....and fell alseep. Before falling asleep he knew i was on the "call" he never offered to get on. He just fell asleep.

 

He actually has said He did it ...........he's sorry.........and it's behind him.....

Never asked where I was with it. Never has acknowledge the hurt his actions have brought.

 

He hasn't mentioned help.......from Joel or the forum. He's awake and ignoring me sitting here on the computer and phone.

 

He's just holding out and thinking this will pass...................

 

This is insanity doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

 

brain freeze has set in and words are not coming right now. Maybe in the morning.

 

Thanks for all concern and encouragement.

[Livia]

Ed is holding up in stubbornes. He does not choose to seek help. He says we should remain married and be happy........................huh???????????

Sounds like "remain in the burning building and keep calm................"

 

He did listen to me this morning as I read a chapter to him on pride. When I finished he got up to go outside must stay out there on his tractorl......that's a real priorty today. I asked if he had any comment on the reading..........he said he didn't like it. and I'm all about pointing out his faults.......He said he didn't like being called a two year old (must have come from Joel) either but maybe he is one...............now he's outside on his tractor.

 

I mentioned the suggestion he not drive alone..........he said that fine with me. But took the kids to school today (20 mile round trip) without a word about it.

 

Told me last night did not go well................did NOT accept blame. It was just a statement. Doesn't want to hear the word divorce. He suggested a 30 day separation and then see if I still thought I could live alone. DEATH DEATh and poison...................that's what comes out of his mouth everytime he speaks

 

Not a teachable spirit. Not for his marriage or where his life will end up.

[dory]

He says we should remain married and be happy........................huh???????????

Sounds like "remain in the burning building and keep calm................"

 

You ARE amazing. "30 day separation?" If he remains this arrogant thru next Monday, I wouldn't wait one more day.

 

It amazes me how long you have put up with such depravity. He did well for two year because his testosterone was low due to the chemo meds. Now the enemy has brought 6 other "friends" it seems since he didn't fill his empty and 'swept clean' house with new habits and a Godly fearing attitude.

 

So sad.

[Livia]

i got on the phone last night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,W/John and susan. Ed later picked up a phone, laid on the couch and went to sleep. He did not speak. He got up when the call was over and went to bed.

 

If he intended to speak at all..............Joel would have had to "GO FIRST". Ed did not speak that, but that is the impression I got. He is the "responder"

 

I wish I could just write non-stop and get it all out to be heard and to be helped. I write like I using Western Union and am paying by the word. (dated...dated......some of you texting kids don't know what I'm talking about. Western Union use to be more than just a place you send money fast...........

 

Ed is back working on the property again today. Tooting around on his tractor. He did come in the LR, walked over to my coffee cup, it was half full and warm and he walked out of the room and out the back door.

 

I feel totally exhausted and have no interest in doing anything...........guess thats just stress and depression. My bills needed to go out Monday and I haven't even done that. Not looking for pity........just expressing how this kind of hurt can knock you down and you can't get up.........

[JoelandKathy]

Just have him read here.

 

You may want to use the forum to communicate things to him when you are frustrated.

 

Ed - reply to Livia's posts here.

 

Let's get you two MOVING back to a good place.

[Livia]

Joel and Kathy,

 

thank you for your post. I do not know if I can open my heart again............

 

I'm exhausted to try again. there has been a cycle of hurts from his second looks.......and remember those are the only ones I see when I am with him[list

 

He did admit he looks in cars all the time........just not is all cars.........

So I'm sure he looks in the streets too.

 

I would really like a phone session with you two..........If your agreeable to that, I ask Ed to call you. I can't say in my heart it for rstoration.........I just need to hear him try to tell you how weak and feable his attemps are at bringing healing.

 

After he was on the mens call Tues..............he hung up and went outside to work on his tractor............and did nothing....shared nothing....and said nothing.

 

Please respond.

 

thank you, Livia

[firewalker]

I am old enough to remember Western Union. Got a mailgram from God once, of course one of my friends wrote it but had it signed from God with a confirmation of His love. That's the only one I ever received.

 

How about a return trip to an intensive with Michael and Annalea?

[Livia]

joel and Kathy

 

 

PS............remember, this look was the first since he has been on hold for two years because of medications. And he admitted he was full on and into the rush of it................bad news..........knowing how close his toes where to falling into the temptation. Satan had held out the bait and Ed was hooked.............Is that why the call them "hookers?"

[dory]

I feel totally exhausted and have no interest in doing anything...........guess thats just stress and depression. My bills needed to go out Monday and I haven't even done that. Not looking for pity........just expressing how this kind of hurt can knock you down and you can't get up.........

 

I totally GET this. Honey don't lift a finger to do ANYTHING unless it is FOR YOU! OK? Its high time you STOPPED agape loving HIM.

[Livia]

Gave Ed a phone last night............he took it to his cave.

 

Never heard a word from him. He did not speak.

 

This morning he barely looked at me and said he and his son were going up to his brothers property. Tractor was being trailered.

 

He slips in and out of the house...........never says a word...........

 

Early in the week he said he does not want a divorce but would go with a 30 day separation to see if I can come to my senses and if I feel like I can live alone..................sick.............i'm screaming...........

 

He has not called Joel........does not speakl on the last two calls........And is not on the forum..........

 

His attitlude is get over it and lets just be happy. how sick is that?

[Abigail]